Backing The Van

All around this wide brown country there are delights you all should know

and to see it all should be a lasting plan.

I've seen a few weird things myself but the best Ive every seen

is when a poor old nomad tries to back his van.

No matter where you strike them from the Cape to Hobart tow 

this ceremony seems to find a place. 

It is like some secret ritual but some treat it like a joke 

while others seem to think it is a race.

Those who have already settled will lounge back in their chairs 

always an ice cold drink so close at hand. 

For it should be such a simple thing to back onto a site 

but it turns into an exhibition grand.

The waving of the hands comes first like a fighter pilots crew

trying to get the plane down safely on the deck 

but this pilots either blind or deaf and all communication fail 

as the shrubs along the sites side does he wreck.

Then will come the yelling as she runs from side to side 

then he hears a thud and on the brake does clap. 

Will you listen to what Im saying you stupid deaf old fool 

Hes just wiped out the bloody water tap.

The neighbours are all laughing as the van sways too and fro 

as he adjusts his line and runs up on the slab. 

Oh I give up Bill she screams in a state of pure frustration 

and the bloke next door gives his mates ribs a jab.

Some will use a two way when the drivers hearings failing

but sometimes interference can cause grief.

With instructions coming thick and fast confusion reigns supreme

as all the neighbours shake their heads in disbelief.

Motor homes and buses or fifth wheelers matter not

the problems still the same and causes strife.

Cause left hand down still turns the rig when SWMBO calls out right ( She Who Must Be Obeyed ) 

and everyone still scurries for their life.

Well then finally they settle and the crowd all melts away

to the campfire to discuss the evening plan..

but as sure as day turns into night tomorrow they'll be back. 

to witness another backing of the van.

Bob Pacey ( C )