How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

 How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They don't stop and ask for directions.

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.