DATELINE: NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in  possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At  a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Ashcroft said.

"They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.

They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.