Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:

 
Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.  Where will the government get this money ?

From taxpayers.


Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A.  Only a smidgen of it.


Q.  What is the purpose of this payment ?

A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of  China  ?

A.  Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust.  Economy by
Spending your stimulus check wisely:


If you spend the stimulus money at Coles,  the money will go to  China  or  Sri Lanka.


If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.


If you purchase a computer,  it will go to  India ,  Taiwan  or China. 

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to  Mexico , Honduras and
Guatemala.

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to  Japan  or  Korea.

If  you purchase useless stuff, it will go to  Taiwan.
 
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead,  keep the money in  Australia by:

1)  Spending it at garage sales, or

2)  Going to the footy , or 

3)  Spending it on prostitutes, or 

4)  Beer or 

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only Australian businesses still operating in   Australia  )

Conclusion:

Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank me,  I'm just glad I could be of help.

Kind regards,.$$$$