Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few   
days later the doctor phones and says Paddy, you realise youve got      
sugar diabetes.                                                           
Paddy says, Nice one, when do I fight him?                               




It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But Ive turned  
myself around and thats what its all about.                              



Paddy caught his wife having an affair and decided to kill her and         
himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his wife and says "Don't    
laugh, your next!!"                                                        




Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the     
school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."                     
His Dad replies "Never mind son, maybe next time you'll get a speaking     
part!!"                                                                    




Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.                       
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women, the prices are reasonable too."  
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"                                   
Three weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"       
"No" said Mick "But it shouldn't be long now though, her clothes arrived   
yesterday!!