Drugs in sport - an obvious playing with negative stereo-types about lawn bowls; and an obvious follow-on from drug issues in other Australian sports!!
However I did grin at some statements.
Hope this is not too offensive!!
Lawn bowls is a hotbed of drug use, with sports scientists using all sorts of concoctions to keep players alive for their next game.
There is also evidence of widespread corruption, with meat raffle prizes offered to bribe players to keep quiet about the sports sordid goings on.
Arthur Crimshaw, head of Australian Bowling, denies any wrong doing saying it is perfectly natural for players to want to be kept alive. But he refused to answer many questions at a press conference, mainly because his hearing aid was turned down too low.
Some players have been found to be wearing electronic devices to artificially stimulate their heart, giving them an advantage over other players who dont use the device and are well, dead.
Others are taking stimulants to keep them awake during the game. These drugs have also been passed to spectators so they dont fall asleep when games are televised.
The government has announced a probe into the sport. Crimshaw said his players were used to probes, just as long as theyve been sterilized and are not too cold.
When my b-i-l took up lawn bowls some years back, my mum revealed another common lawn bowlers tactic.
She told him never to accept a beer between ends from a player you were beating, especially if they didn't have one themselves. Seems some of the old fellas would get an opponent drunk to knock them off their game!
