Twas fifty shades of grey.

Well I just left her to it,
At ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread..

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down on the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasnt weathered well;
Shes eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and
Said. I must dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Doris,
Youd see just why I spluttered,
Id spent two months in traction
For the last complaint Id muttered.

She stood there nude, naked like;
Bent forward just a bit .
I thought what the hell,
Stepped forward,
and stood on her left tit!

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
Step on the other one!!

Well readers, I cant tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,.
Turned fifty shades of Grey