The scene. A row of dog cages. In one cage is an American pit bull. Next to it is a German shepard. The shepard turns to the pit bull. "Unt vot are you in ziss place for my American friend!"

The pit bull looks up at the other dog. "Oh, hi Fritz. Well I've been with this family for nearly three years. In that time, their little bay has growed some. Then he finds out that he can pick up a piece of wood, or whatever, and hit me with the damned thing any time he likes!"

"Unt vot did you do ven the kinder is hitting you!"

"Well, this mornin' I just got kinda pissed off with the little son of a bitch, and I bit the little bastard."

"Ziss it not good for you, my friend!?'

"No, Fritz. The lady of the house brought me in here and tells the doc' that I should have the big needle, so I guess it's curtains for me!"

"I em so sorry my friend"

"Anyway, Fritz, what're you in here for!?"

"It is embaressing my friend, but yesterday morning, I am lying in zee room vere zey hev za bath. Zee lady of zee house comes in for vot zay call zee shower. Vile she is heving zee shower, she is dropping zee soap, which slides under zee bath. So, when she is down on zee hends unt za kness, I am looking at her, and I don't know vot comes over me"....

"Hot damn. Do you mean tha you actually.....!?"

Believe me, my friend, I just could not help myself!"

"So, what the hell they gonna do to you, Fritz!?"

"Vell, za lady of zee house brings me in here unt tells zee vet zat I hiv to hiv my nails cut !?"