Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave

myself a personal TSA pat down.  I was looking for my keys.  They were not

in my pockets.  A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

  Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car.  Frantically, I

headed for the parking lot.  My wife has scolded me many times for leaving

the keys in the ignition.  My theory is the ignition is the best place not

to lose them.  Her theory is that the car will be stolen.  As I burst

through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion.  Her

theory was  right.  The parking lot was empty.

  I immediately called the police.  I gave them my location, confessed that I

had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.  Then I made the

most difficult call of all . "Honey," I stammered.  I always call her

"honey" in times like these.  "I left my keys in the car, and it has been

stolen."

  There was a period of silence.  I thought the call had been dropped, but

then I hard her voice.  "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!" 

Now it was my time to be silent.  Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get

me."  

  She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not

stolen your car."

  Yep it's getting like that; The golden years.