Working For the Council
A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies "Yes, caffeine"
"Have you ever worked for the public service before?" "Yes I was in the army" he says "I was in Iraq for two tours." The interviewer says "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment"
Then he asks "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says "Yes a mine exploded near me when I was there and I lost both of my testicles"
The interviewer grimaces and then says "O.K. you've got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am - and carry on starting at 10.00am every day." The bloke is puzzled and asks "If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm why don't you want me here until 10.00am? I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know"
"What you have to understand is that this is a council job" the interviewer says "For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls There's no point in you coming in for that"