This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors.

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newsagent, loudly demanded to know.
"Madam", said the newsagent, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper
 is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY!".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a
 ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter,
"Well, ****, that explains why no one was at church either.