A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.                       
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time...                          
                                                        

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 gravediggers walking about with a coffin.
Three hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself,                    
these buggers have lost the plot!!