A  mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old  son
playing with his new electric train set in the living  room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You  b*****ds who want
off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of  you b*****ds who are
getting on, get on now, 'cos we're going down  the tracks'.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We  don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go  to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS.

When you come out,  you may play with your train, but I want you to  use nice language.'

Two hours later, the son came out of  the bedroom and resumed playing with
his train. Soon the train  stopped and the mother heard her son say,

'All passengers who are  disembarking the train, please remember to take
all of your  belongings with you.

We thank you for travelling with us today and  hope your trip was a
pleasant one.'

She hears the little  boy continue,

'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow  all of your hand
luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no  smoking on the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing  journey with us today.'

As the mother began to smile, the child  added..........

'For those of you who are pissed off about the  TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the  kitchen.