1/ Leaving my driveway this morning I drove straight into a bus as it was 5 minutes early.

2/ I was driving along the road when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road, causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.

3/ I started to slow down, but the traffic was more stationery than I first thought.

4/ I pulled into a lay-by when I saw smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so I grabbed my dog from the back seat and smothered it with a blanket.

5/ The car in front of me run into the pedestrian. He got up so I hit him again

These are statements on actual insurance claims