So, this guy has a pet duck and he goes to the movie theater to see a movie and brings his duck with him. He goes to the ticket window and says to the lady, "I'd like two tickets, one for me, and one for my duck."

The lady says, "I can't give your duck a ticket."

The man says, "What gives? This is my pet duck. I take him everywhere."

The lady says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you cannot bring that animal inside the theater."

The man says fine and walks around the back of the theater, unzips his pants, sticks the duck in there, zips up, goes back around front and buys one ticket.

He sits down to watch the movie next to some old ladies. He unzips his pants and the duck sticks his head out to get a little air.

The old lady next to him turns to her friend and whispers, "Hey Mabel, there's a pervert sitting next to me. He's got his thing out."

Mabel whispers back, "Just enjoy it dear. At our age we don't get to see many of those anymore."

She whispers back, "But I'm nervous. This one's different."

Mabel answers, "Oh really? What's so different about it?"

"It's eating my popcorn!"