I would do anything to see my grankids. For the last 3 yrs, since the first was born, I have worried the parents would get so mad if I went to court, which causes the kids to experience their energy. I have pretty much just waited and hoped it would change, but it hasn't.

A solicitor told me legal aid don't touch family law, so I am surprised to hear what you are saying. I shall look into it this coming week, so thankyou for all you have said.

Also, just wanted to say..............even though I do accept what has happened in the past and why I keep restoring houses, what's in ones heart to me, walks with me, into the future, too.

Valerie........x

Valerie, I meant I am sooo over MY story if this is what you are refering to? but I can relate.
No one is trying to stop you ~ quite the opposite. As Dave said, it is encouraged.

-- Edited by Sunshine on Sunday 3rd of January 2010 02:08:50 PM

if you have the will and motivation and inner strength to walk away and you are doing that which makes you truly happy then do so,

but wherever you go you will always find yourself there, make sure you are truly happy within yourself and most of all be truthfull to yourself

be happy, if however what is happening to you is tearing you apart then do something about it,

life is made up of crossroads, everyday is a new beginning, just because you did it yesterday doesnt mean to say you do it today, change your life take a different course of action, it could be as simple as a tafe course or a total home change or overseas change

your destiny is in your hands, nobody elses, if your life fails it is your fault, your life, your decisions, in the end we enter our grave alone!

as I said i am no expert on the legalities of access or family law, but I would encourage you or anyone else to get expert advice to help you change what is going wrong in your life! and if you are able to then do so!!

I still get the feeling that all is not as you would like it to be and you are still "raging" against something or someone, and keeping feelings buried deep down

I am very "aware" of folks posts and can easily tell when all is not "right", I have a lot of experience of reading between the lines, you are not right..............

I would prefer you to open up and just talk to someone, if not me then P.M. someone, there are a lot of folk on here that would be very keen to just have a yak and it does help!

call a help line and just have a yak to a stranger, no need to give last names or anything like that but please just have a think about it, life is better than this!!

to be honest I dont think "all is good at all" I think you are "soldiering on" and I tell you here and now it will work for a while but it will turn and bight you when you least expect it to!

even being in here will help you as you would have noticed, just simply talking to people is a great soother!

I've noticed you emerging a little further out of your shell day by day, this is good, dont stop now!

please just talk to someone!

I really hate to disappoint you Dave, but aside from nearly falling off my chair in fit of pure amusement at your insistence that I am not ok, I am. I hope you aren't too upset at me for this. I can post something to keep YOU happy if you like.
I am rather bored today as it's very wet outside hence my forum following.

thankyou goinsoon.

I enjoy sharing and listening to others. Sometimes what we say, helps others, plus ourselves.


Valerie.......x 

Hi all, just to let you know I have reactive depression, along with a couple of other avoidance mechanisms. Currently the black dog is away (touch wood) I know it will come again but in the meantime I try to stay on an even keel. I know about the roller coaster, up hi down low etc. butI live below the centre line, I have been trying to not mind the lack of high,s.and be grateful for the calm. Serenity is my aim and to be at one with myself . Not always easy. I am not able to control what other people think but I can try and control what I think. When backed into a corner however I come out fighting. learned that when our son was born with mltiple disabilities. It seems like a lot of hard things happen to some people, and Valerie ,Sunshine and you Dave spit in the face of adversity and make something good from it, and when we can be, be proud of what we accomplish. when the black dog comes tell him to sit be kind to him and he will leave again. ( be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be sad, for a little while, if you fight the dog gets nasty) My heart is with you Valerie and like so many others on this site I'm available to talk.
ps I forgot to tell you about the aluminium beanie,  all the merriment and good thoughts that brings.

-- Edited by ElBe on Sunday 3rd of January 2010 10:59:35 PM

 

Hi Valerie...Maybe my own story will help you...

I adopted an overseas girl from Korea 21 years ago now...a look at my forum name may be a clue to that fact. She was only 100 days old when we collected her and brought her back to Oz.
Three years later my wife took off with the neighbour and my daughter. When I got over the shock of it all, all I wanted was to see my little girl. For some strange reason my ex made contact difficult so I took the legal approach, and believe me the legal team i engaged really and truly socked it to her, and her partner, big time. After the extended battle and my win she took flight and moved to Qld. She had won! (So she thought!)

My response to her moving away may be the part that is revellent to your own situation.

I opened a trust account and monthly deposited a sum of money into it, you see I figured because my daughter and I were so close she would remember me and one day hopefully come back to me. My thinking was..... when and if she did want to see me then no matter the circumstances i could help.

I tracked them down using the voting registry and the reverse phone book from the state library. Once I knew their address I regularly wrote and sent gifts to my daughter. While I figured most would not get though to her I also figured some would...and I was right too, some did.

She rang me at work one day ...12 years without any contact.12 of the longest, hardest years of my life The situation made me sick. and totally changed my own aspect on life
Soon after the phone contact she caught a plane and came back home. She stayed for a month with me the first time. Now she flys down often.

When i met her after that long break at the airport I had to ask her this. .
                             " I am peter, are you my daughter? "
I think Valerie when the best we can do is remember birthdays and Easter and Christmas times then we should cherish those opportunities.
The power of love .....draw on it and at a minium you will have done your very best and what more can you do?

 

-- Edited by ibbo on Saturday 23rd of January 2010 01:04:23 PM