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Old Timer SexThis is too funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well..' OK,'...

The future of nursery rhymes It's Raining, It's Pouring Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming. Jack and Jill went into town To fetch some chips and sweeties. He can't keep his heart rate down And she's got diabetes. Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its arse And turned its wool to nylo...

In Japan, they have apparently replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry. With their strict construction rules (each poem has only 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, 5 in the third), Haikus are used to communicate timeless messages, oft...

Monday I formatted my computer.thinking it had a problem.....getting slower and slower.......re-installed everything.......only to find this forum slower still....I thought .Dammmmm computers.........I visited Gary and Kerry yesterday and they said it was slow for them too..........a...

I was fortunate enough to catch Sir Terro hard at work. Although a rare sight .........I was able to capture it on a shutter setting 1/1000

just wondering , if i get a holden rodeo next year, or similar ,has any one had any experiance with the slide out camper things.. as per here http://www.freedomoffroad.com.au/mc750HRD.php

42 yesterday about 21 today, stinking mongrel north west wind and today a cool breeze and hissing down with rain the cyclone off the kimberley coast has stretched it's tentacles right across the centre of aust. to reach us all the way down here, how amazing is that, thousands of kilometres away acros...

I have just been seduced by these fora into wasting the whole of my morning without achieving a solitary thing of a productive nature. It is not only a consequence of spending time reading and responding to the many and varied postings on these pages, but more a matter of the neccessity of rescuing my ke...

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby Cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog o...

We are planning on doing the big lap starting around Easter in 2010 and was wondering what the best service provider is for wireless internet access while travelling. We want to be able to keep in touch with family and friends plus do a small amount of business onine eg banking etc. Optus vs Telstra next...

The other day I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented. I said, "A folding bottle." She said, "Ok...

Just before the end of the year I wanted to thank you all for the e-mails you have forwarded throughout the year. I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat **** in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe...

Hi all, My name is Sandy and my partner's name is Trevor. We are originally from Bribie Island in Qld and we have set off on our adventure with our little Aussie Terrier Roxy. We have a Toyota Coaster motorhome and we are pulling a special trailer with all Trevor's sharpening gear in, as he is a saw doctor a...

Terro ,I was in a shopping centre yesterday ,came accross a Austrailian Geographic Store . It had the large Aussie map similar to he one I used. It.s laminated . $19.95. Sorry Smokeydk,no state maps .{ bugger }

Well they are descending on Boxing day... Very particular about their food has to be bland , and capable of being served at a nanoseconds notice... So far I've made sausage rolls, easy peasy... Get thick snags and either fry or microwave them untill JUST cooked remove from the heat... Grab some puff pa...

Hi all, has anyone any experience in electric brake adjusting. I've had brakes retro fitted to my C T and I can just feel them working slightly but may not have been adjusted at time of fitting. I have tested my Tekonsha and it's OK. I know of the adjusting nut thingo inside the brakes but how much and how ti...

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos we...

Best wishes for todays Surgery Granny.Cheers.Ibbo.

Went for our swim yesterday arvo and sitting in th middle of the river are 2 ducks with offspring. Gracie spots them and "points" I tell her to calm down assuming the ducks would fly away..... no such luck, mrs duck goes into broken wing mode father duck flys off low along the river Gracie imme...

What do you think of them?