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INO COME WORK TODAY ----- Hung Chow calls his work and says, 'Hey, I no come wok today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come wok.' The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her t...

Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife. "I had a terrible day." replied Roy . "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag beca...

The Funeral Procession A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. ~ A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. ~ Behind the second hearse was a s...

Queenslander: Two boys in Brisbane playing football in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a savage Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Courier Mail reporter hears about the in...

An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an emplo...

The kids have all their little SMS codes...like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for the *seniors: * ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friends Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Centre DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWBB - Friend with Beta Blo...

Hi All, We have a 2001 winnebago leisure seeker on a mazda t4600 and find our house batteries ( 2 )are not retaining charge for long ( hours ) .Will charge up to 14 volts from alternator and 240v but run down rather quicker than when we first bought the unit ( bout 15 months ago). Have found previous owner in...

Bandiana Army Museum this arv

Well, I seem to have the head cold under control, so I should get away on Thursday as planned. Firstly I'll meet up with friends at my sisters at Cooloola Cove for a couple of days. From there we go inland from Gympie and north on the Burnett Highway. Nothing definite along the way, except we hope to go to U...

Hi all, I can recommend Dominic at Modbury Battery Service for advice on batteries for your rv will not upsell you if you don't ned it.Good advice and reasonable pricing.

John Smith (his real name) started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG) He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SING...

Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened . He then decided to write a letter to God requesting the $100.When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Australia they decided to send it to Julia Gillard. (Australian PM) Gi...