Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers.She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000.Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Lawyer & the Engineer.A lawyer and an engineer were fishing while on holiday and began talking.The lawyer said, Im here because my house burnt down and everything was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.Thats quite a coincidence, remarked the engineer. Im her...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A couple of anthropologists fly to the South Sea islands to study the locals. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work.A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague his doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a grou...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.As he caught himself by grabbing the bannister, his b...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart" she sobs "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone ra...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.The waiter comes and takes their drink order.I would like a Sprite, said the first little piggy.I would like a Coke, said the second little piggy.I want water, lots and lots of water, said the third little piggy.The drinks are brought out and the waiter ta...

dorian · dorian

Not to make light of the situation, but I found it amusing that the target of a racial slur was reported by the ABC to be of "Kiwi and Samoan heritage". New Zealand abandons soccer friendly with Qatar mid-game after allegations of racism towards Michael Boxall: [url]https://www.abc.net.au/news/...

anolphart · anolphart

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

anolphart · anolphart

A small boy was lost at the beach, so he went up to a lifeguard and said, "I've lost my dad! The lifeguard said, "What's he like? The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Bobdown · Bobdown

Put up or shut up......... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSLMM4Adc/

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center.After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show, Claude the Hypnotist!Claude explained that he was going to put the entire audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you - all at the same time...

anolphart · anolphart

A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS PERIOD. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES GU...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:Australian Tax Office 'Service'Australia Post 'Service'Telephone Companies 'Service'Cable TV 'Service'Power Company'Service'Federal,State, &Council, Public 'Service'Customer 'Service'Centrelink 'Ser...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Low mileage... (Preview) A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers.She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000.Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...	aussie_paul	0	700	02:21 PM Jun 23, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Morris, an 82 year-old man... (Preview) Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...	aussie_paul	0	506	02:16 PM Jun 23, 2023 by aussie_paul
	The Lawyer & the Engineer.. (Preview) The Lawyer & the Engineer.A lawyer and an engineer were fishing while on holiday and began talking.The lawyer said, Im here because my house burnt down and everything was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.Thats quite a coincidence, remarked the engineer. Im her...	aussie_paul	5	1233	09:05 AM Jun 23, 2023 by DMaxer
	Anthropology (Preview) A couple of anthropologists fly to the South Sea islands to study the locals. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work.A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague his doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a grou...	aussie_paul	1	710	01:32 PM Jun 22, 2023 by anolphart
	What percentage? (Preview) A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...	aussie_paul	2	1047	11:58 AM Jun 22, 2023 by Stretch60
	Paddy staggered home... (Preview) Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.As he caught himself by grabbing the bannister, his b...	aussie_paul	0	444	11:16 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Stutter (Preview) A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...	aussie_paul	0	460	11:14 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Newlyweds.. (Preview) The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart" she sobs "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone ra...	aussie_paul	0	393	11:12 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Pigs in a restaurant. (Preview) Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.The waiter comes and takes their drink order.I would like a Sprite, said the first little piggy.I would like a Coke, said the second little piggy.I want water, lots and lots of water, said the third little piggy.The drinks are brought out and the waiter ta...	aussie_paul	0	708	01:32 PM Jun 21, 2023 by aussie_paul
	I thought kiwis were birds (Preview) Not to make light of the situation, but I found it amusing that the target of a racial slur was reported by the ABC to be of "Kiwi and Samoan heritage". New Zealand abandons soccer friendly with Qatar mid-game after allegations of racism towards Michael Boxall: [url]https://www.abc.net.au/news/...	dorian	0	654	11:41 AM Jun 20, 2023 by dorian
	Dolly and Ruby (Preview)	anolphart	1	670	05:04 PM Jun 19, 2023 by Southern Cruizer
	Love... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	703	05:36 PM Jun 18, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Lost boy (Preview) A small boy was lost at the beach, so he went up to a lifeguard and said, "I've lost my dad! The lifeguard said, "What's he like? The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"	anolphart	0	651	09:00 PM Jun 17, 2023 by anolphart
	Back in the day.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	702	12:46 PM Jun 17, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Rent a crowd... (Preview) Put up or shut up......... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSLMM4Adc/	Bobdown	2	878	11:07 AM Jun 17, 2023 by peter67
	Mums... (Preview)	aussie_paul	1	731	04:20 PM Jun 16, 2023 by Possum3
	Hurting, suffering and loss... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	590	11:59 AM Jun 16, 2023 by aussie_paul
	GIGGLE - (Preview) It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center.After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show, Claude the Hypnotist!Claude explained that he was going to put the entire audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you - all at the same time...	aussie_paul	0	641	11:47 AM Jun 16, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Small business (Preview) A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS PERIOD. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES GU...	anolphart	0	611	09:08 PM Jun 15, 2023 by anolphart
	Service Agencies ? Confusing !! (Preview) I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:Australian Tax Office 'Service'Australia Post 'Service'Telephone Companies 'Service'Cable TV 'Service'Power Company'Service'Federal,State, &Council, Public 'Service'Customer 'Service'Centrelink 'Ser...	aussie_paul	1	589	07:51 PM Jun 15, 2023 by yobarr
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