Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holdsher clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's inmy hand can have sex with me tonight!"An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex."She ran up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."He sat silently for a moment or two and finally...

Craig1 · Craig1

He could cop it

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Stuff that will keep you awake at night -What if my dog only brings back the ball because he thinks I like throwing it?-If poison is past its expiry date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?-Which letter is silent in the word "Scent", the S or the C?-Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it j...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Joe goes into a bar on his way home. He sits down next to an attractive young blonde to watch the news on the TV.The news was just coming on and they were covering the story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.The blonde looked at Joe and said:"Do you think he'll jump?"Joe said: "You know...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Donating old clothesOne day a woman decided to gather up all of her old clothes that she no longer wore and donate them. She got them all bagged up, walked into the living room where her husband was watching TV and said "Look at this! I'm going to donate all of these old clothes!" The husband replied "Why d...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' A woman was trying hard to get th...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work.The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him abroom and said, "your first job will be to sweep out the store.""But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly."Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

rgren2 · rgren2

Funny.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

anolphart · anolphart

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Lawyer again.I thought that you should know that LAWYERS aren't too smart, after all.A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.He advised her t...

anolphart · anolphart

One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion. "I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor."No, no, no, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor.An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong. It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'.""Tha...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 46 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "FORTY-SIX YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP HOUSE, A JUNK CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK ANDWHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 23-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $35,000.00 CAR, A N...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man and his wife...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Please help.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	904	01:25 PM Jul 21, 2023 by aussie_paul
	DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTRE (Preview) 80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holdsher clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's inmy hand can have sex with me tonight!"An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough.	aussie_paul	0	560	01:23 PM Jul 21, 2023 by aussie_paul
	SUPERSEX.. (Preview) A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex."She ran up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."He sat silently for a moment or two and finally...	aussie_paul	0	600	01:19 PM Jul 21, 2023 by aussie_paul
	A A Seminar (Preview) He could cop it	Craig1	0	776	09:48 AM Jul 21, 2023 by Craig1
	Stuff that will keep you awake at night 😬 (Preview) Stuff that will keep you awake at night -What if my dog only brings back the ball because he thinks I like throwing it?-If poison is past its expiry date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?-Which letter is silent in the word "Scent", the S or the C?-Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it j...	aussie_paul	1	835	05:29 PM Jul 20, 2023 by Whenarewethere
	Sorry to our blonde folk... (Preview) Joe goes into a bar on his way home. He sits down next to an attractive young blonde to watch the news on the TV.The news was just coming on and they were covering the story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.The blonde looked at Joe and said:"Do you think he'll jump?"Joe said: "You know...	aussie_paul	1	686	12:54 PM Jul 20, 2023 by Blues Man
	Learn Chinese.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	676	12:04 PM Jul 20, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Donating old clothes.. (Preview) Donating old clothesOne day a woman decided to gather up all of her old clothes that she no longer wore and donate them. She got them all bagged up, walked into the living room where her husband was watching TV and said "Look at this! I'm going to donate all of these old clothes!" The husband replied "Why d...	aussie_paul	0	648	11:53 AM Jul 20, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Why We Love Children.. (Preview) I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' A woman was trying hard to get th...	aussie_paul	0	571	11:49 AM Jul 20, 2023 by aussie_paul
	A young man... (Preview) A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work.The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him abroom and said, "your first job will be to sweep out the store.""But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly."Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that...	aussie_paul	0	516	11:43 AM Jul 20, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Little old lady.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	508	11:41 AM Jul 20, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Missing child.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	548	11:40 AM Jul 20, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Graduation (Preview) Funny.	rgren2	1	871	10:54 PM Jul 19, 2023 by Whenarewethere
	Ducks... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	863	07:28 PM Jul 19, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Wisdom quotes (Preview) A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ...	anolphart	0	681	05:31 PM Jul 19, 2023 by anolphart
	One for Dmax.. (Preview) Lawyer again.I thought that you should know that LAWYERS aren't too smart, after all.A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.He advised her t...	aussie_paul	2	774	10:44 PM Jul 18, 2023 by watsea
	Correct spelling (Preview) One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion. "I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor."No, no, no, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor.An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong. It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'.""Tha...	anolphart	0	678	08:33 PM Jul 18, 2023 by anolphart
	AFTER BEING MARRIED.. (Preview) AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 46 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "FORTY-SIX YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP HOUSE, A JUNK CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK ANDWHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 23-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $35,000.00 CAR, A N...	aussie_paul	4	1307	06:21 PM Jul 18, 2023 by Are We Lost
	An old country preacher (Preview) An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided...	aussie_paul	1	443	05:52 PM Jul 18, 2023 by Craig1
	A man and his wife... (Preview) A man and his wife...	aussie_paul	1	647	05:26 PM Jul 18, 2023 by Whenarewethere
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