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Net zero
(Preview)
|
anolphart
|
0
|
599
|
|
|
|
Yes or no??
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
1
|
506
|
|
|
|
A sweet grandmother
(Preview)
A sweet grandmother telephoned St Marys Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?The operator said, Ill be glad to help, dear. Whats the name and room number of the patient?The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Martha Jones, Ro...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
546
|
|
|
|
A chili cook-off..
(Preview)
This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico."Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Li...
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aussie_paul
|
1
|
649
|
|
|
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It is immoral...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
3
|
865
|
|
|
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Smiles
(Preview)
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Bobdown
|
2
|
668
|
|
|
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Marvin the gunfighter
(Preview)
Marvin had always wanted to be a gunfighter. He grew up in the old West. As a child he read everything about gunfighters he could find. His hero was Billy the Kidd. He dreamed of being just like his hero. One day he went to town and bought himself a black hat, some black clothes, a black horse and two pis...
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anolphart
|
1
|
673
|
|
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A HEART WARMING LAWYER STORY
(Preview)
One for Dmaxer... A HEART WARMING LAWYER STORYOne afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass ?""We don't have any money for food,"...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
477
|
|
|
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I picked up an hitchhiker...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
531
|
|
|
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Lost wife
(Preview)
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket, can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with a body like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere...
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anolphart
|
2
|
700
|
|
|
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A Few More Puns
(Preview)
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.3. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.4. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer...
|
Craig1
|
0
|
643
|
|
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Lion tamer
(Preview)
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or y...
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anolphart
|
0
|
587
|
|
|
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A boy comes....
(Preview)
A boy comes home from school and says to his Mum... "Today the teacher asked a question, and I was the only kid who could answer it!" His Mum says "That's great, what was the question?" "Who farted?" Replied the boy...
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aussie_paul
|
1
|
590
|
|
|
|
Martian sex
(Preview)
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subjec...
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anolphart
|
2
|
760
|
|
|
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The Drover at the Pearly Gates..
(Preview)
A drover from a huge cattle station in the outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates."Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked."Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered."Once, on a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales , I came acros...
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aussie_paul
|
1
|
577
|
|
|
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Be strong!
(Preview)
An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed. He got on the bed righ...
|
anolphart
|
1
|
662
|
|
|
|
Who thinks up these things!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
FAMILY TREE OF VINCENT VAN GOGH (always pronounced as Van GO)His dizzy aunt ----------------------------------------------- Verti GoghThe brother who ate prunes------------------------------- Gotta GoghThe brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N GoghThe grandfather fr...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
665
|
|
|
|
Who wore it best?
(Preview)
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Bobdown
|
3
|
710
|
|
|
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lol...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
652
|
|
|
|
40-40-40...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
463
|
|
|