Just Joking

Roostertales · Roostertales

Subject: First Date If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date th...

dave06 · dave06

name the song that would go with this picture

Road Ranger · Road Ranger

Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book. Along comes a 'Game Warden' in his boat. He pulls up al...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

The Medical Profession Speaks out on the Financial Bail-Out Package The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the...

dave06 · dave06

a young blonde woman on a flight to darwin in second class suddenly got up out of her seat and walked to first class and promptly sat down upon seeing this the stewardess chased her up and said "madam would you kindly revert to your allocated seat" to which the girl said "I'm blonde and I'...

dave06 · dave06

a man walks into a pub, sits down and orders a beer, notices another young feller up the other end of the bar rolling something around in his fingers saying to himself "looks like plastic, fells like rubber" man goes back to having his beer trying to ignore this young feller with whatever it...

Xtrail51 · Xtrail51

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food an...

JRH · JRH

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

My misses asked me "watcha doing today" I said nuttin She said u done that yesterday I said "i aint finished yet ___________________ Man comes home and finds his wife in bed with one of his mates. So he shoots him dead. Wife says u keep doing that your gunna...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

There was this 10 year old boy walking down the street dragging a squashed frog on a string. He walked up to a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. The Madam answered the door , looked down at the little boy and asked what he wanted, he said i want to have sex with one of your girls, i have money and im no...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to checkout #10. It takes 1st prize and #3 is ru...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_______...

dave06 · dave06

The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site. In a panic to escape, she slid down t...

dave06 · dave06

: BREAKING NEWS ::: Due to the recession in 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people to save money. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little crazy friends, run! Well, what can I say ??? Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone !!?

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Paddy was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland . Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time. Sad...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Two blokes in a pub and one makes the statement "Do you know Lions have sex 10 times a day". Mate replies "Bugger me I just joined Rotary "

dave06 · dave06

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out Both said they...

Viagra users take note. · Road Ranger

If you are using Viagra put it in a cup of tea, as this will stop your buscuit going soft when you dunk it

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letter...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	worst first date ever (Preview) Subject: First Date If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date th...	Roostertales	1	1509	01:01 PM Mar 14, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	ok heres one for you (Preview) name the song that would go with this picture	dave06	5	1219	10:02 AM Mar 14, 2009 by dave06
	Don't do it. (Preview) Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book. Along comes a 'Game Warden' in his boat. He pulls up al...	Road Ranger	2	1344	09:40 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	Medical Proffession Speaks Out (Preview) The Medical Profession Speaks out on the Financial Bail-Out Package The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the...	Wombat 280	3	1431	09:38 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	young and blonde (Preview) a young blonde woman on a flight to darwin in second class suddenly got up out of her seat and walked to first class and promptly sat down upon seeing this the stewardess chased her up and said "madam would you kindly revert to your allocated seat" to which the girl said "I'm blonde and I'...	dave06	1	1109	09:36 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	a little on the nose (Preview) a man walks into a pub, sits down and orders a beer, notices another young feller up the other end of the bar rolling something around in his fingers saying to himself "looks like plastic, fells like rubber" man goes back to having his beer trying to ignore this young feller with whatever it...	dave06	1	1369	09:34 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	For all dog owners........... (Preview) The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food an...	Xtrail51	2	1595	09:32 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	Masculine or Feminine (Preview) A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving...	JRH	1	1303	03:01 PM Mar 13, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	a couple of quickies (Preview) My misses asked me "watcha doing today" I said nuttin She said u done that yesterday I said "i aint finished yet ___________________ Man comes home and finds his wife in bed with one of his mates. So he shoots him dead. Wife says u keep doing that your gunna...	drongo & wendy	2	1198	12:07 PM Mar 13, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	my frog (Preview) There was this 10 year old boy walking down the street dragging a squashed frog on a string. He walked up to a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. The Madam answered the door , looked down at the little boy and asked what he wanted, he said i want to have sex with one of your girls, i have money and im no...	drongo & wendy	0	1299	09:17 AM Mar 13, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	Sad but True (Preview) The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to checkout #10. It takes 1st prize and #3 is ru...	Wombat 280	0	1382	09:16 PM Mar 12, 2009 by Wombat 280
	PUTTING YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER (Preview) The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things...	sgntbilko	1	1242	08:34 PM Mar 12, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Protective Father (Preview) APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_______...	Wombat 280	0	1612	08:31 PM Mar 12, 2009 by Wombat 280
	endangered tree's revenge (Preview) The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site. In a panic to escape, she slid down t...	dave06	3	1387	01:13 PM Mar 12, 2009 by dave06
	urgent request (Preview) : BREAKING NEWS ::: Due to the recession in 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people to save money. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little crazy friends, run! Well, what can I say ??? Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone !!?	dave06	7	1485	01:04 PM Mar 12, 2009 by JRH
	What Killed Paddy (Preview) Paddy was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland . Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time. Sad...	Wombat 280	1	1281	01:23 PM Mar 11, 2009 by sgntbilko
	Lions- V -Rotary (Preview) Two blokes in a pub and one makes the statement "Do you know Lions have sex 10 times a day". Mate replies "Bugger me I just joined Rotary "	Wombat 280	1	1485	02:59 PM Mar 10, 2009 by sgntbilko
	pain releif (Preview) A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out Both said they...	dave06	0	1298	12:37 PM Mar 9, 2009 by dave06
	Viagra users take note. (Preview) If you are using Viagra put it in a cup of tea, as this will stop your buscuit going soft when you dunk it	Road Ranger	8	1607	11:03 AM Mar 9, 2009 by Road Ranger
	THIS IS CLEVER (Preview) Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letter...	sgntbilko	1	1357	12:48 PM Mar 8, 2009 by Road Ranger
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