Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I was just in Coles at the checkout, and an old bloke in front was getting served.His bill came to $54.60, but when he counted out his change, he had just under $50.He didn't want me to help him, God bless him, but I insisted, and in no time we had all his shopping back on the shelves.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Johnny's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma.After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.Frantically, she asks the Doctor about her baby.The doctor replies, " Madam, you had twins....a boy and a girl. The babie...

anolphart · anolphart

My wife and I decided last night that we dont want any kids.We will tell them later today!

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

-- Edited by aussie_paul on Friday 2nd of June 2023 03:29:29 PM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,takes videos, pictures and communicates with Fac...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

"So let me get this straight" the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man". "That's correct" says the defendant. "Upon which" continues the prosecutor "you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her". "That's correct" says t...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

This blonde was selling her pet python on eBay. A bloke rang up and asked if it was big. She said "It's massive". He said "How many feet?" She said "None. It's a snake you idiot!"

Bobdown · Bobdown

Mathematics: This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. This is a strictly ..... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those peo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

some things you just can't explainThe farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain.""So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The policeman stood and faced his God,Which must always come to pass.He hoped his shoes were shining.Just as brightly as his brass."Step forward now, policeman.How shall I deal with you?Have you always turned the other cheek?To My church have you been true?"The policeman squared his shoulders an...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Cup of Tea made with cold water.One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys.Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea'...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him."I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!""Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Plea...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Well FINALLY, it just had to come to this sooner or later!A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."------------------------------ ------A blond man spies a letter lying on h...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

anolphart · anolphart

Southern Cruizer · Southern Cruizer

anolphart · anolphart

When other activists glued themselves to the floor of the Volkswagen plant - also in Germany, Volkswagen management sent all the employees home and turned the lights out. When they came in the next day, the activists complained that they had to pee and poop in their pants. I'm starting to like th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Good deed done for the day.. (Preview) I was just in Coles at the checkout, and an old bloke in front was getting served.His bill came to $54.60, but when he counted out his change, he had just under $50.He didn't want me to help him, God bless him, but I insisted, and in no time we had all his shopping back on the shelves.	aussie_paul	1	709	10:25 AM Jun 3, 2023 by peter67
	Stolen from another site - (Preview) Johnny's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma.After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.Frantically, she asks the Doctor about her baby.The doctor replies, " Madam, you had twins....a boy and a girl. The babie...	aussie_paul	1	627	06:41 PM Jun 2, 2023 by Blues Man
	Don't want any kids (Preview) My wife and I decided last night that we dont want any kids.We will tell them later today!	anolphart	0	398	04:29 PM Jun 2, 2023 by anolphart
	A plan.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	2	442	03:59 PM Jun 2, 2023 by anolphart
	A plan.. OOPS have already posted it. :( (Preview) -- Edited by aussie_paul on Friday 2nd of June 2023 03:29:29 PM	aussie_paul	0	498	03:06 PM Jun 2, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless) (Preview) Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,takes videos, pictures and communicates with Fac...	aussie_paul	0	376	02:46 PM Jun 2, 2023 by aussie_paul
	In Court..... (Preview) "So let me get this straight" the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man". "That's correct" says the defendant. "Upon which" continues the prosecutor "you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her". "That's correct" says t...	aussie_paul	1	588	11:51 AM Jun 2, 2023 by peter67
	Pet Python (Preview) This blonde was selling her pet python on eBay. A bloke rang up and asked if it was big. She said "It's massive". He said "How many feet?" She said "None. It's a snake you idiot!"	aussie_paul	0	532	02:00 PM Jun 1, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Maths (Preview) Mathematics: This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. This is a strictly ..... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those peo...	Bobdown	2	493	11:54 AM Jun 1, 2023 by Possum3
	FOR THE RURAL COMMUNITY (Preview) some things you just can't explainThe farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain.""So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left...	aussie_paul	1	541	09:13 AM Jun 1, 2023 by Bobdown
	When you're a child... (Preview)	aussie_paul	1	591	07:13 PM May 31, 2023 by Whenarewethere
	Final Inspection (Preview) The policeman stood and faced his God,Which must always come to pass.He hoped his shoes were shining.Just as brightly as his brass."Step forward now, policeman.How shall I deal with you?Have you always turned the other cheek?To My church have you been true?"The policeman squared his shoulders an...	aussie_paul	2	792	11:24 AM May 31, 2023 by yobarr
	ONLY A GRANDMOTHER WOULD KNOW.... (Preview) A Cup of Tea made with cold water.One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys.Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea'...	aussie_paul	1	609	04:21 PM May 30, 2023 by Craig1
	If at first... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	408	12:43 PM May 30, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Golfer has an accident... 🙂 (Preview) A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him."I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!""Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Plea...	aussie_paul	0	348	12:41 PM May 30, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Blond Men... (Preview) Well FINALLY, it just had to come to this sooner or later!A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."------------------------------ ------A blond man spies a letter lying on h...	aussie_paul	0	337	12:35 PM May 30, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Asked the kids... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	443	10:52 AM May 30, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Cheap Renewables (Preview)	anolphart	4	824	09:26 AM May 30, 2023 by Craig1
	Sad Indians (Preview)	Southern Cruizer	1	619	07:51 AM May 30, 2023 by anolphart
	Eco Warrior (Preview) When other activists glued themselves to the floor of the Volkswagen plant - also in Germany, Volkswagen management sent all the employees home and turned the lights out. When they came in the next day, the activists complained that they had to pee and poop in their pants. I'm starting to like th...	anolphart	0	455	04:19 PM May 29, 2023 by anolphart
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