Just Joking

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing a 104-year-o...

dave06 · dave06

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? ' 'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'What that tell you?'...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

An Aussie Poem The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock The ****y took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock. He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams. He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank And s...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Give up smoking you hear the Doctors say , WHY -- Edited by Wombat 280 at 20:40, 2008-11-04

suenami · suenami

ALL GRANDPARENTS, HEED THIS WARNING !! Do NOT lose your grand kids in the mall !! A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, 'I've lost my grandpa!' The cop asked, 'What's he like?' The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied... 'Bundaberg r...

twobob · twobob

- A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time?" "No," he replied. A whole lot of them begin with "If elected I promise..."

Ozziebushfolk · Ozziebushfolk

GET OUT OF THE CAR! (This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to s...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower ?" T...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

This old timer was travelling through the Australian outback, got a bit thirsty so called into this old Pub for a drink, while downing a cold schooner he sees a signs above the bar that reads, A FREE SCHOONER FOR ANY ONE WHO CAN MAKE THE OLD MULE AT BACK OF THE PUB LAUGH The idea of another schooner was very a...

twobob · twobob

A Happy Woman: A woman, in her fifties, is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, &quo...

Ozziebushfolk · Ozziebushfolk

AMAZING HOME REMEDIES 1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF. 2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WIT...

Roostertales · Roostertales

Hi all -In response to Dave's latest joke post -What do artificial blondes and airplanes have in common ? I shall leave it to the imagination and hopefully enjoy some responses ! I just love the way the forum topics jump around !

dave06 · dave06

a russian an american and a blonde were talking about space, the russian said " we were the first in space" the american said "we were the first to walk on the moon" the blonde said "we are going to be the first on the sun" the russian and american looked at eah other and sa...

dave06 · dave06

two vampire bats found themselves in a strange cave upon awakening, one said to the other "geez!! I"M hungry we will have to find some blood soon" the other said "we had better wait until the others go out or we will get lost and besides we dont know where we are going," to whi...

dave06 · dave06

a cowboy walked in to a bar dressed in paper hat, paper shirt, paper coat, paper trousers, paper chaps and paper shoes, he was immediately arrested, why ? I hear you ask, ................................................ RUSTLING OF COURSE WHAT ELSE.

twobob · twobob

Great Senior Moment! A very self-important college newbie attending a football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost prim...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. She remarried a third time and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord fo...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

A platoon of soldiers were patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Not sure where to post this it's a true story but could pass for a joke . Bloke in Kempsey NSW out front of home mowing the nature strip Leaves mower running while takes catcher to backyard to empty Returns to see mower on the back of an old ute going down the road at a great rate of knots . Gets UTE rego and...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Old Age Does That (Preview) Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing a 104-year-o...	Wombat 280	1	1871	10:40 AM Nov 6, 2008 by Pam
	tonto (Preview) The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? ' 'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'What that tell you?'...	dave06	1	1815	07:29 PM Nov 5, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Outback Farm safety Message (Preview) An Aussie Poem The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock The ****y took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock. He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams. He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank And s...	Wombat 280	0	1943	07:26 PM Nov 5, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Smoking Kills (Preview) Give up smoking you hear the Doctors say , WHY -- Edited by Wombat 280 at 20:40, 2008-11-04	Wombat 280	0	1386	09:39 PM Nov 4, 2008 by Wombat 280
	All Grandparents, heed this warning!! (Preview) ALL GRANDPARENTS, HEED THIS WARNING !! Do NOT lose your grand kids in the mall !! A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, 'I've lost my grandpa!' The cop asked, 'What's he like?' The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied... 'Bundaberg r...	suenami	2	1582	10:37 PM Nov 3, 2008 by Wombat 280
	One liners (Preview) - A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time?" "No," he replied. A whole lot of them begin with "If elected I promise..."	twobob	9	2046	02:22 PM Nov 3, 2008 by NannyMon
	Get Out of the Car! (Preview) GET OUT OF THE CAR! *(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of* *Sarasota, Florida) An elderly* Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to s...	Ozziebushfolk	1	1914	07:22 PM Nov 2, 2008 by Roostertales
	Flowers (Preview) While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower ?" T...	Gary and Kerry	0	1429	04:23 PM Nov 2, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	A Funny One (Preview) This old timer was travelling through the Australian outback, got a bit thirsty so called into this old Pub for a drink, while downing a cold schooner he sees a signs above the bar that reads, A FREE SCHOONER FOR ANY ONE WHO CAN MAKE THE OLD MULE AT BACK OF THE PUB LAUGH The idea of another schooner was very a...	Gary and Kerry	0	1432	04:22 PM Nov 2, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	a happy woman (Preview) A Happy Woman: A woman, in her fifties, is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, &quo...	twobob	0	1877	04:16 PM Nov 2, 2008 by twobob
	Amazing Home Remedies (Preview) AMAZING HOME REMEDIES 1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF. 2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WIT...	Ozziebushfolk	1	1813	04:04 PM Nov 2, 2008 by dave06
	Question and answer opportunity (Preview) Hi all -In response to Dave's latest joke post -What do artificial blondes and airplanes have in common ? I shall leave it to the imagination and hopefully enjoy some responses ! I just love the way the forum topics jump around !	Roostertales	0	1568	08:56 AM Oct 30, 2008 by Roostertales
	space (Preview) a russian an american and a blonde were talking about space, the russian said " we were the first in space" the american said "we were the first to walk on the moon" the blonde said "we are going to be the first on the sun" the russian and american looked at eah other and sa...	dave06	0	1552	07:13 PM Oct 29, 2008 by dave06
	two bats (Preview) two vampire bats found themselves in a strange cave upon awakening, one said to the other "geez!! I"M hungry we will have to find some blood soon" the other said "we had better wait until the others go out or we will get lost and besides we dont know where we are going," to whi...	dave06	0	1565	07:11 PM Oct 29, 2008 by dave06
	a quick one (Preview) a cowboy walked in to a bar dressed in paper hat, paper shirt, paper coat, paper trousers, paper chaps and paper shoes, he was immediately arrested, why ? I hear you ask, ................................................ RUSTLING OF COURSE WHAT ELSE.	dave06	0	1718	10:08 PM Oct 28, 2008 by dave06
	More senior moments (Preview) Great Senior Moment! A very self-important college newbie attending a football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost prim...	twobob	2	1908	09:37 PM Oct 25, 2008 by twobob
	They're finally together (Preview) She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. She remarried a third time and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord fo...	Gary and Kerry	0	1703	07:41 AM Oct 24, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	Extreme Joke, do not read if easily offended by political satire (Preview) A platoon of soldiers were patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...	Basil Faulty	5	2147	09:41 PM Oct 23, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Couldn't Believe It (Preview) Not sure where to post this it's a true story but could pass for a joke . Bloke in Kempsey NSW out front of home mowing the nature strip Leaves mower running while takes catcher to backyard to empty Returns to see mower on the back of an old ute going down the road at a great rate of knots . Gets UTE rego and...	Wombat 280	0	1669	09:34 PM Oct 23, 2008 by Wombat 280
	New Stock Market Terms (Preview) CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,...	Gary and Kerry	1	1614	08:39 AM Oct 23, 2008 by Roostertales
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