Just Joking

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letter...

dave06 · dave06

in a park in metropilos was found a pair of statues, one male one female, staring at each other, through what seemed like very loving eyes for eternity, knowing in their stone hearts that they could never be together a kind hearted angel was flittering about (as they are known to do) minding his own bus...

Roostertales · Roostertales

The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven !! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide whi...

mike and Judy · mike and Judy

.. Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope you are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - te...

Road Ranger · Road Ranger

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

I'll bet they change that tail number ASAP

Roostertales · Roostertales

A fella comes into his vet in tears holding his apparently dead dog and says "doc you gotta help me - I luv him dearly is there anything you can for him ?" (by the way readers I am adlibbing this a bit) The vet who can obviously see the dog is dear departed says "well ok bring him in here and put...

Roostertales · Roostertales

. Wife from Hell A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.The driver says, Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: Now dont be silly dear, you k...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

So, here's the story. . . Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in anunhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problemsby taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the Beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch wi...

dave06 · dave06

a lecturer was standing in front of a group of women trying to give a lecture on involuntary spasms within the human body having tried to gain the noisy and disruptive class time and time again with no success he finally cracked walking over to one of the noisier women in the front row he asked the questio...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

Alocal policeman had just finished and was at home with his misses. You wont believe what happened this evening, in all my years in the force iv never seen anything like it. 'Yes dear what happened" I came accros two blokes down by the river, one was drinking battery acid and th...

Roostertales · Roostertales

Flogging a dead horse Young Kevin, moved to Canberra and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Kevin replied, 'Well,then just give me my money back.' Th...

Roostertales · Roostertales

INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstall...

Mike47 · Mike47

Question: What's a Hindu? Kiwi answer: Lay's iggs

Roostertales · Roostertales

The Centrelink Office. A long - haired kiwi walked into the local Centrelink office to pick up his dole cheque. He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a job.' The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' Your timing is exce...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

A professer at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntry Muscular Contractions' to his first year students. Realising this was not the most riviting subject, the Professer decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young women in the front row and said, 'do u know what y...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

CREDIT CRUNCH. Dear employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selecte...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

DUE TO WORLD FINANCIAL CRISIS AND BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW OFFICE EFFECTIVE APRIL 1, 2009 NEW OFFICE POLICY Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financia...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

LIFE IN THE 1500'S ** The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their ye...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

Better than a Flu Shot! Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness And kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	THIS IS CLEVER (Preview) Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letter...	sgntbilko	1	1153	12:48 PM Mar 8, 2009 by Road Ranger
	the two statues (Preview) in a park in metropilos was found a pair of statues, one male one female, staring at each other, through what seemed like very loving eyes for eternity, knowing in their stone hearts that they could never be together a kind hearted angel was flittering about (as they are known to do) minding his own bus...	dave06	0	968	12:42 PM Mar 8, 2009 by dave06
	The Queen and Dolly go to heaven (Preview) The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven !! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide whi...	Roostertales	0	1094	06:03 PM Mar 5, 2009 by Roostertales
	Life in the Australian Army (Preview) .. Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope you are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - te...	mike and Judy	2	1236	05:47 PM Mar 5, 2009 by Wombat 280
	A (mate) sent me this. (Preview) http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb	Road Ranger	0	969	01:42 PM Mar 5, 2009 by Road Ranger
	Tail Number (Preview) I'll bet they change that tail number ASAP	Wombat 280	2	1177	01:30 PM Mar 5, 2009 by Road Ranger
	Heard this on 774 am this morning - a dog story (Preview) A fella comes into his vet in tears holding his apparently dead dog and says "doc you gotta help me - I luv him dearly is there anything you can for him ?" (by the way readers I am adlibbing this a bit) The vet who can obviously see the dog is dear departed says "well ok bring him in here and put...	Roostertales	1	947	07:02 PM Mar 4, 2009 by sgntbilko
	wife from hell !!!! (Preview) . Wife from Hell A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.The driver says, Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: Now dont be silly dear, you k...	Roostertales	1	1302	06:55 PM Mar 3, 2009 by sgntbilko
	MURDER AT WOOLWORTHS (Preview) So, here's the story. . . Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in anunhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problemsby taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the Beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch wi...	sgntbilko	4	1365	06:51 PM Mar 3, 2009 by sgntbilko
	a bit crude but funny nonetheless (Preview) a lecturer was standing in front of a group of women trying to give a lecture on involuntary spasms within the human body having tried to gain the noisy and disruptive class time and time again with no success he finally cracked walking over to one of the noisier women in the front row he asked the questio...	dave06	0	960	11:39 AM Mar 1, 2009 by dave06
	A DAY AS A COPPER (Preview) Alocal policeman had just finished and was at home with his misses. You wont believe what happened this evening, in all my years in the force iv never seen anything like it. 'Yes dear what happened" I came accros two blokes down by the river, one was drinking battery acid and th...	drongo & wendy	0	1035	09:46 AM Mar 1, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	Flogging a dead 'orse (Preview) Flogging a dead horse Young Kevin, moved to Canberra and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Kevin replied, 'Well,then just give me my money back.' Th...	Roostertales	2	1180	09:49 AM Feb 28, 2009 by dave06
	I.T. for new wives (Preview) INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstall...	Roostertales	0	1029	09:38 PM Feb 27, 2009 by Roostertales
	Kiwi Joke (Preview) Question: What's a Hindu? Kiwi answer: Lay's iggs	Mike47	4	1306	09:32 PM Feb 27, 2009 by Roostertales
	Kiwi bashing (Preview) The Centrelink Office. A long - haired kiwi walked into the local Centrelink office to pick up his dole cheque. He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a job.' The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' Your timing is exce...	Roostertales	1	1567	08:56 AM Feb 27, 2009 by sgntbilko
	The Professer (Preview) A professer at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntry Muscular Contractions' to his first year students. Realising this was not the most riviting subject, the Professer decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young women in the front row and said, 'do u know what y...	drongo & wendy	2	1151	09:21 PM Feb 25, 2009 by Wombat 280
	CREDIT CRUNCH (Preview) CREDIT CRUNCH. Dear employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selecte...	sgntbilko	2	1205	09:42 PM Feb 24, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Retire Early to Avoid Policy Changes (Preview) DUE TO WORLD FINANCIAL CRISIS AND BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW OFFICE EFFECTIVE APRIL 1, 2009 NEW OFFICE POLICY Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financia...	Wombat 280	0	1311	09:35 PM Feb 24, 2009 by Wombat 280
	LIFE IN THE 1500's (Preview) LIFE IN THE 1500'S ** The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their ye...	sgntbilko	1	1354	05:43 PM Feb 21, 2009 by Roostertales
	FLU SHOT (Preview) Better than a Flu Shot! Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness And kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him...	sgntbilko	1	1289	05:39 PM Feb 21, 2009 by Roostertales
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