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A bit of Aussie culcha – Aussie Outback Microsoft lessons...
(Preview)
LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie. DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute. HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys. WINDOW:...
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Gary and Kerry
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1
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1283
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50 Years Together
(Preview)
A man and his wife were celebrating together 50 years ! Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner intheir honour. 'Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad,' gushed son number one ... 'Sorry I'mrunning late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, youknow how it is, and di...
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Gary and Kerry
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1
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1487
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A GHOST STORY
(Preview)
THE LOCAL UNIVERSITY WAS HOLDING A SEMINAR ON THE SUPERNATURAL THE GUEST SPEAKER STOOD AND ADDRESED THE AUDIENCE. "BEFORE I BEGIN " HE SAID, I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU "DOES ANY ONE HERE BELIEVE THEY HAVE SEEN A GHOST". ABOUT HALF THE AUDIENCE...
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rowdy
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0
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1169
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Another Blonde Joke
(Preview)
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole,...
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Gary and Kerry
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2
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1311
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Shallow End of the Gene Pool
(Preview)
Is this bloke for real , his actions are akin to looking down the barrel of loaded automatic and pulling the trigger . Just came back from the Mandorah pub and sure the fish tank needs something in it but a king brown. Don't think so.
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Wombat 280
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3
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1310
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Taser gun
(Preview)
A MUST READ!!! Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchasedhis lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparkedmy interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for...
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Xtrail51
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0
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1326
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Seeing as it is Christmas, "A Nice Story"
(Preview)
The Taxi Driver This is a nice one!!! I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. Just a minute answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a lon...
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Xtrail51
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3
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1302
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Sex fifty years ago........
(Preview)
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there a...
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Xtrail51
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0
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1512
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Watch out for the spaghetti
(Preview)
For several years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would a...
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Roostertales
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0
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1242
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Late nite funnies
(Preview)
:They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken :99% of lawyers give the others a bad name :Inside every older person is a younger person wondering "what the hell happened" :A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory :If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of paym...
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Roostertales
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0
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1311
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spare parts
(Preview)
A little girl goes to her mother and asks "Mummy do birds have spare parts" The mother assures her that "no birds don't have spare parts." The little girl returns later and says "Mummy are you sure birds don't have spare parts" "Of course I...
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rowdy
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1
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1414
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Female compassion
(Preview)
A man was sitting on a blanket down on the beach he had no arms or legs 3 women came walking passed seen the poor bloke sitting all alone so first lady walks over and asks if she could give him a hug the bloke say y not, she hugs him gently. The second asks if he would mind if she kissed him, he says...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1099
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Christmas
(Preview)
Dave06, My i take this time to wish you and every one on this fourm a MERRY CHRISTMAS A SAFE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. Roamin.
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ROAMIN
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1
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1169
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Sunday morning Church bells
(Preview)
I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling... Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother rep...
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Gary and Kerry
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1
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1786
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uh oh - I belong to this brigade !
(Preview)
A different slant on an old theme. Gotta Be Over 40 to Understand! Mum used to cut chicken, slice eggs and spread butter on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't get food poisoning. My Mum used to defrost mince-meat on the kitchen sink AND I used to eat a bite raw somet...
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Roostertales
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8
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1511
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The dog that ran out of petrol
(Preview)
A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.' 'What does that mean?' asked the child. 'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around th...
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Basil Faulty
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0
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1312
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Did you have a Jellyfish bad day?
(Preview)
I just had to share this one:- This is even funnier when you realise it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister...
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Cruising Granny
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1
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1509
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OH LORD Funny but Naughty
(Preview)
When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked,' Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.' Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.' Oprah said, 'I u...
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Xtrail51
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0
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1477
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TWINS
(Preview)
Siamese twins walk into a pub in Brisbane and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the barman, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm Joe, he's Jim, we'll have two XXXX Draught beers please' The barman, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the be...
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Gary and Kerry
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1
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1279
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Quote of the day
(Preview)
'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you g...
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Gary and Kerry
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0
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1229
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