Just Joking

twobob · twobob

- A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time?" "No," he replied. A whole lot of them begin with "If elected I promise..."

Ozziebushfolk · Ozziebushfolk

GET OUT OF THE CAR! (This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to s...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower ?" T...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

This old timer was travelling through the Australian outback, got a bit thirsty so called into this old Pub for a drink, while downing a cold schooner he sees a signs above the bar that reads, A FREE SCHOONER FOR ANY ONE WHO CAN MAKE THE OLD MULE AT BACK OF THE PUB LAUGH The idea of another schooner was very a...

twobob · twobob

A Happy Woman: A woman, in her fifties, is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, &quo...

Ozziebushfolk · Ozziebushfolk

AMAZING HOME REMEDIES 1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF. 2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WIT...

Roostertales · Roostertales

Hi all -In response to Dave's latest joke post -What do artificial blondes and airplanes have in common ? I shall leave it to the imagination and hopefully enjoy some responses ! I just love the way the forum topics jump around !

dave06 · dave06

a russian an american and a blonde were talking about space, the russian said " we were the first in space" the american said "we were the first to walk on the moon" the blonde said "we are going to be the first on the sun" the russian and american looked at eah other and sa...

dave06 · dave06

two vampire bats found themselves in a strange cave upon awakening, one said to the other "geez!! I"M hungry we will have to find some blood soon" the other said "we had better wait until the others go out or we will get lost and besides we dont know where we are going," to whi...

dave06 · dave06

a cowboy walked in to a bar dressed in paper hat, paper shirt, paper coat, paper trousers, paper chaps and paper shoes, he was immediately arrested, why ? I hear you ask, ................................................ RUSTLING OF COURSE WHAT ELSE.

twobob · twobob

Great Senior Moment! A very self-important college newbie attending a football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost prim...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. She remarried a third time and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord fo...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

A platoon of soldiers were patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Not sure where to post this it's a true story but could pass for a joke . Bloke in Kempsey NSW out front of home mowing the nature strip Leaves mower running while takes catcher to backyard to empty Returns to see mower on the back of an old ute going down the road at a great rate of knots . Gets UTE rego and...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!! If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning .. Uphill...barefo...

dave06 · dave06

jocks..........................................your

twobob · twobob

A New Zealand walked into an Australian unemployment office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "G'day mate, I'm lookin' for a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur for his...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog. A neighbor, an old fellow, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, "What the hell's that for?" I explained, "It's a sundial. See, the sun will hit that s...

Quincey · Quincey

Wizards of Oz PresidentsFour U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?" Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courag...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One liners (Preview) - A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time?" "No," he replied. A whole lot of them begin with "If elected I promise..."	twobob	9	1880	02:22 PM Nov 3, 2008 by NannyMon
	Get Out of the Car! (Preview) GET OUT OF THE CAR! *(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of* *Sarasota, Florida) An elderly* Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to s...	Ozziebushfolk	1	1783	07:22 PM Nov 2, 2008 by Roostertales
	Flowers (Preview) While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower ?" T...	Gary and Kerry	0	1274	04:23 PM Nov 2, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	A Funny One (Preview) This old timer was travelling through the Australian outback, got a bit thirsty so called into this old Pub for a drink, while downing a cold schooner he sees a signs above the bar that reads, A FREE SCHOONER FOR ANY ONE WHO CAN MAKE THE OLD MULE AT BACK OF THE PUB LAUGH The idea of another schooner was very a...	Gary and Kerry	0	1298	04:22 PM Nov 2, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	a happy woman (Preview) A Happy Woman: A woman, in her fifties, is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, &quo...	twobob	0	1745	04:16 PM Nov 2, 2008 by twobob
	Amazing Home Remedies (Preview) AMAZING HOME REMEDIES 1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF. 2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WIT...	Ozziebushfolk	1	1682	04:04 PM Nov 2, 2008 by dave06
	Question and answer opportunity (Preview) Hi all -In response to Dave's latest joke post -What do artificial blondes and airplanes have in common ? I shall leave it to the imagination and hopefully enjoy some responses ! I just love the way the forum topics jump around !	Roostertales	0	1447	08:56 AM Oct 30, 2008 by Roostertales
	space (Preview) a russian an american and a blonde were talking about space, the russian said " we were the first in space" the american said "we were the first to walk on the moon" the blonde said "we are going to be the first on the sun" the russian and american looked at eah other and sa...	dave06	0	1402	07:13 PM Oct 29, 2008 by dave06
	two bats (Preview) two vampire bats found themselves in a strange cave upon awakening, one said to the other "geez!! I"M hungry we will have to find some blood soon" the other said "we had better wait until the others go out or we will get lost and besides we dont know where we are going," to whi...	dave06	0	1399	07:11 PM Oct 29, 2008 by dave06
	a quick one (Preview) a cowboy walked in to a bar dressed in paper hat, paper shirt, paper coat, paper trousers, paper chaps and paper shoes, he was immediately arrested, why ? I hear you ask, ................................................ RUSTLING OF COURSE WHAT ELSE.	dave06	0	1589	10:08 PM Oct 28, 2008 by dave06
	More senior moments (Preview) Great Senior Moment! A very self-important college newbie attending a football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost prim...	twobob	2	1778	09:37 PM Oct 25, 2008 by twobob
	They're finally together (Preview) She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. She remarried a third time and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord fo...	Gary and Kerry	0	1543	07:41 AM Oct 24, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	Extreme Joke, do not read if easily offended by political satire (Preview) A platoon of soldiers were patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...	Basil Faulty	5	2008	09:41 PM Oct 23, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Couldn't Believe It (Preview) Not sure where to post this it's a true story but could pass for a joke . Bloke in Kempsey NSW out front of home mowing the nature strip Leaves mower running while takes catcher to backyard to empty Returns to see mower on the back of an old ute going down the road at a great rate of knots . Gets UTE rego and...	Wombat 280	0	1514	09:34 PM Oct 23, 2008 by Wombat 280
	New Stock Market Terms (Preview) CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,...	Gary and Kerry	1	1480	08:39 AM Oct 23, 2008 by Roostertales
	Feeling your age (Preview) THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!! If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning .. Uphill...barefo...	Wombat 280	5	2969	10:02 PM Oct 22, 2008 by Wombat 280
	just an oldie (Preview) jocks..........................................your	dave06	0	1488	07:13 PM Oct 22, 2008 by dave06
	ethnic jokes - no harm intended (Preview) A New Zealand walked into an Australian unemployment office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "G'day mate, I'm lookin' for a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur for his...	twobob	2	1709	07:08 PM Oct 21, 2008 by Wombat 280
	That's Progress For Ya (Preview) I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog. A neighbor, an old fellow, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, "What the hell's that for?" I explained, "It's a sundial. See, the sun will hit that s...	Wombat 280	0	1637	09:59 PM Oct 19, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Wizards of Oz Presidents (Preview) Wizards of Oz PresidentsFour U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?" Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courag...	Quincey	1	1694	10:02 PM Oct 18, 2008 by twobob
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