Just Joking

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: Anyone want to buy a present?Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!I think that S...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

This may have been posted before, apologies if it has. One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was begin...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, 'Fairy G...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning.... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating myporridge?' he squeaks.. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks in...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Soiled Bed Sheets! This should make you smile and one for the Nurses & Security Guards as well!! An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

What I Want in a Man, My Original List: > 1. Handsome > 2. Charming > 3. Financially successful > 4. A caring listener > 5. Witty > 6. In good shape > 7.. Dresses with style > 8. Appreciates finer things > 9. Full of thoughtful surprises > 10. An imaginative, ro...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night,a drunk American led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on thewall. 'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked 'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Australian clo...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An old retired sailor puts on his uniform and heads to the docks once more for old times' sake. He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, ' How am I doing '? The prostitute replies, 'Well old sailor, you...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Here is the Best Recovery I have ever seen. So glad this guy got over it!!

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Tiger Woods Holiday Poem Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse. She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry, Cause a bimbos phone number was in his Blackberry. Hed been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed. Woman after woman steppe...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

If you can read this without laughing, you must be devoid of laughter cells...... This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a s******, though God knows after how many takes. The irony is, BBC received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

You Gotta Love These Blonde Jokes!Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day wi...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

Topic 1: How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation. Topic 2: Toilet paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion. Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics. Topic 4: Learning how to find things, star...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Old Timer SexThis is too funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well..' OK,'...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

The future of nursery rhymes It's Raining, It's Pouring Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming. Jack and Jill went into town To fetch some chips and sweeties. He can't keep his heart rate down And she's got diabetes. Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its arse And turned its wool to nylo...

Hylda&Jon · Hylda&Jon

In Japan, they have apparently replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry. With their strict construction rules (each poem has only 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, 5 in the third), Haikus are used to communicate timeless messages, oft...

Rolly · Rolly

I have just been seduced by these fora into wasting the whole of my morning without achieving a solitary thing of a productive nature. It is not only a consequence of spending time reading and responding to the many and varied postings on these pages, but more a matter of the neccessity of rescuing my ke...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby Cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog o...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

The other day I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented. I said, "A folding bottle." She said, "Ok...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Just before the end of the year I wanted to thank you all for the e-mails you have forwarded throughout the year. I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat **** in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Assorted X-mas One-Liners (Preview) A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: Anyone want to buy a present?Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!I think that S...	Gary and Kerry	0	863	01:22 PM Dec 24, 2009 by Gary and Kerry
	Santa's Bad Day (Preview) This may have been posted before, apologies if it has. One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was begin...	Gary and Kerry	0	824	01:21 PM Dec 24, 2009 by Gary and Kerry
	Cinderella (Preview) Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, 'Fairy G...	Disco Duck	0	747	07:02 PM Dec 22, 2009 by Disco Duck
	The REAL Story!! (Preview) A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning.... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating myporridge?' he squeaks.. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks in...	Disco Duck	0	718	06:59 PM Dec 22, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Trouble. (Preview) Soiled Bed Sheets! This should make you smile and one for the Nurses & Security Guards as well!! An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided...	justcruisin01	0	638	05:46 PM Dec 22, 2009 by justcruisin01
	Ibbo's Wife's List (Preview) What I Want in a Man, My Original List: > 1. Handsome > 2. Charming > 3. Financially successful > 4. A caring listener > 5. Witty > 6. In good shape > 7.. Dresses with style > 8. Appreciates finer things > 9. Full of thoughtful surprises > 10. An imaginative, ro...	Disco Duck	0	794	04:37 PM Dec 21, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Australian Clock (Preview) Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night,a drunk American led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on thewall. 'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked 'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Australian clo...	Disco Duck	0	738	04:21 PM Dec 21, 2009 by Disco Duck
	OLD SAILOR. (Preview) An old retired sailor puts on his uniform and heads to the docks once more for old times' sake. He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, ' How am I doing '? The prostitute replies, 'Well old sailor, you...	justcruisin01	0	715	02:31 PM Dec 21, 2009 by justcruisin01
	The best Recovery I Have Ever Seen (Preview) Here is the Best Recovery I have ever seen. So glad this guy got over it!!	Disco Duck	0	617	01:54 PM Dec 21, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Ibbo on Tiger (Preview) Tiger Woods Holiday Poem Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse. She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry, Cause a bimbos phone number was in his Blackberry. Hed been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed. Woman after woman steppe...	Disco Duck	2	1058	09:48 AM Dec 21, 2009 by The Gnome
	Sister What?? (Preview) If you can read this without laughing, you must be devoid of laughter cells...... This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a s******, though God knows after how many takes. The irony is, BBC received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have...	Disco Duck	2	1398	11:51 PM Dec 20, 2009 by Rolly
	Blonde?? (Preview) You Gotta Love These Blonde Jokes!Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day wi...	Disco Duck	0	966	10:09 PM Dec 20, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Evening Classes For Men (Preview) Topic 1: How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation. Topic 2: Toilet paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion. Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics. Topic 4: Learning how to find things, star...	Gary and Kerry	11	899	08:05 PM Dec 19, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Old Timer Sex (Preview) Old Timer SexThis is too funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well..' OK,'...	Disco Duck	5	1350	05:29 PM Dec 19, 2009 by ElBe
	The Future of Ibbo's Nursery Rhymes (Preview) The future of nursery rhymes It's Raining, It's Pouring Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming. Jack and Jill went into town To fetch some chips and sweeties. He can't keep his heart rate down And she's got diabetes. Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its arse And turned its wool to nylo...	Disco Duck	6	1084	05:19 PM Dec 19, 2009 by ElBe
	Japanese Computer messages (Preview) In Japan, they have apparently replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry. With their strict construction rules (each poem has only 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, 5 in the third), Haikus are used to communicate timeless messages, oft...	Hylda&Jon	5	1133	05:15 PM Dec 19, 2009 by ElBe
	Formal Complaint to the Most Honouable Webmistress (Preview) I have just been seduced by these fora into wasting the whole of my morning without achieving a solitary thing of a productive nature. It is not only a consequence of spending time reading and responding to the many and varied postings on these pages, but more a matter of the neccessity of rescuing my ke...	Rolly	10	975	03:59 PM Dec 19, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Ibbo's Bereavement (Preview) A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby Cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog o...	Disco Duck	0	842	03:53 PM Dec 19, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Patents Office (Preview) The other day I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented. I said, "A folding bottle." She said, "Ok...	Disco Duck	11	1035	01:13 PM Dec 19, 2009 by Rolly
	Thanks to All Who Cared (Preview) Just before the end of the year I wanted to thank you all for the e-mails you have forwarded throughout the year. I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat **** in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe...	Disco Duck	3	980	12:22 PM Dec 19, 2009 by ibbo
«First < 1 … 651 652 653 654 655 … 686 > Last» \| Page of 686 sorted by