|
23 things
(Preview)
TWENTY-THREE THINGS Yes I know it has been around a while but sometimes these things need to be re- read TWENTY-THREE THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED BY NOW 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often. 3. Going to church does...
|
Ginger
|
1
|
994
|
|
|
|
|
Good value
(Preview)
A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that the average Australian drinks 22 gallons of beer a year. That means the average Australian gets about 41 miles per gallon. That's bloody good value!
|
Solomon
|
0
|
680
|
|
|
|
|
GRANTED WISH;
(Preview)
A man was riding his Harley beside a Sydney beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, The Lord said. 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I w...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
797
|
|
|
|
|
This is a genuine website too!
(Preview)
Click on this link below and see if it reminds you of any local enterprise. http://www.brownfools.co.uk/
|
Palebushman
|
1
|
787
|
|
|
|
|
Rubber Gloves
(Preview)
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. 'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of a...
|
clazandaza
|
0
|
872
|
|
|
|
|
Working Population
(Preview)
On a Lighter Note ! Why Australia is in Trouble The population of this country is 20 million. 11 million are retired. That leaves 9 million to do the work. There are 5 million in school Which leaves 4 million to do the work. Of this there are 2 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 2 million t...
|
Hylda&Jon
|
0
|
914
|
|
|
|
|
REVENGE;
(Preview)
Subject: Greenie revenge --- Love it! The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was Climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site....
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
904
|
|
|
|
|
Horth Withperer
(Preview)
A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.
His buddy asks, 'How will I recognize him?'
'That's easy, he's a dwarf with a speech impediment.'
So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
'A female hort...
|
Cruising Granny
|
1
|
774
|
|
|
|
|
IF ITS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE GOOSE;;;;;;
(Preview)
'To My Dear Wife:You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening wi...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1181
|
|
|
|
|
Irish Joke
(Preview)
> Subject: Irish joke>>>> Two Irish friends leave the pub. One says to other, 'I can't be bothered>> to walk all the way home.'>>>> 'I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last>> bus home.'>>>> 'We could steal a bus from...
|
Xtrail51
|
4
|
1671
|
|
|
|
|
Proud to be a Queenslander
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Melbourne scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Victorians, in the weeks that followed, a Sydney arch...
|
Palebushman
|
0
|
896
|
|
|
|
|
Melons, pears and onions
(Preview)
A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers: "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but ha...
|
Cinnamon
|
1
|
1280
|
|
|
|
|
Two Assies
(Preview)
Two Aussies, Davo and Johnno, were adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Davo stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth. This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving muc...
|
jimricho
|
0
|
854
|
|
|
|
|
Old Farts
(Preview)
Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his off...
|
clazandaza
|
0
|
1079
|
|
|
|
|
SCHOTTISH HUBBY;
(Preview)
A THOUGHTFUL SCOTTISH HUSBAND? Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, 'Margaret - put your hat and coat on lassie.' she replied, ' Awe Jock that's nice - are you ta...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
869
|
|
|
|
|
It'sabout to start
(Preview)
A bloke comes home from work and goes into the lounge and plonks himself in his favourite chair and turns on the telly. He says to the missus "Quick honey get me a beer it's gunna start" She gets him a beer and as he finishes it he says to the missus "Quick honey, get me another beer it's gunn...
|
DKay
|
0
|
991
|
|
|
|
|
Morning Sex
(Preview)
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, &...
|
Gary and Kerry
|
5
|
1394
|
|
|
|
|
Moral question
(Preview)
MORAL DILEMMA This test will only take one minute and only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision....
|
clazandaza
|
5
|
1039
|
|
|
|
|
New Deodorant
(Preview)
I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells awesome. -- Edited by jimricho on Friday 12th of February 2010 07:24:39 PM
|
jimricho
|
0
|
827
|
|
|
|
|
Truckie
(Preview)
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.He said, 'I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair ofrunning boards.' The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pai...
|
Xtrail51
|
0
|
928
|
|
|
