|
The Barber
(Preview)
Did you hear about the Barber who broke his leg skiing. Now he can only cut hair on crutches....
|
gubby
|
2
|
980
|
|
|
|
|
Walk up the Beam of Light
(Preview)
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all working as spies for the UK Government during the cold war when they're captured by the Ruskies.Several years pass and the Russian prison starts to get a bit full, and the oppurtunity arises for an exchange of prisoners. The Russians talk and decide not t...
|
sucastja
|
1
|
1070
|
|
|
|
|
Italian Abroad
(Preview)
One day I go abroad to a bigga hotel. Inna morning I go down to eata breakfast. I tella watress I wan two pissas toast. She brings only one piss. I tella I wan two piss. She say go toilet. I say you you no understand, I wan two piss on ma plate. She say you betta no pissa onna plate you dirty sonna bitch. I donna ev...
|
sucastja
|
1
|
1218
|
|
|
|
|
Hung Chow
(Preview)
INO COME WORK TODAY ----- Hung Chow calls his work and says, 'Hey, I no come wok today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come wok.' The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her t...
|
jimbo
|
2
|
1271
|
|
|
|
|
THE UNDERTAKER'S BLACK EYE
(Preview)
Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife. "I had a terrible day." replied Roy . "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag beca...
|
Cowboy7307
|
2
|
1089
|
|
|
|
|
The funeral
(Preview)
The Funeral Procession A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. ~ A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. ~ Behind the second hearse was a s...
|
robell
|
2
|
1046
|
|
|
|
|
Swimsuit Boutique
(Preview)
|
Firefly
|
1
|
965
|
|
|
|
|
Queenslander
(Preview)
Queenslander: Two boys in Brisbane playing football in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a savage Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Courier Mail reporter hears about the in...
|
jimricho
|
1
|
818
|
|
|
|
|
Square Testicles
(Preview)
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an emplo...
|
robell
|
0
|
940
|
|
|
|
|
SMS / text codes for the *seniors.
(Preview)
The kids have all their little SMS codes...like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for the *seniors: * ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friends Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Centre DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWBB - Friend with Beta Blo...
|
DKay
|
2
|
1242
|
|
|
|
|
Job search
(Preview)
John Smith (his real name) started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG) He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SING...
|
robell
|
1
|
1034
|
|
|
|
|
OOpps!
(Preview)
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!
|
jimbo
|
5
|
1084
|
|
|
|
|
The Prayer
(Preview)
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened . He then decided to write a letter to God requesting the $100.When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Australia they decided to send it to Julia Gillard. (Australian PM) Gi...
|
Firefly
|
1
|
954
|
|
|
|
|
Scottish Jew
(Preview)
An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf. So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to enquire why. Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club? Scot...
|
Cowboy7307
|
1
|
1273
|
|
|
|
|
Coincidently
(Preview)
What A Coincidence! A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne... The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating' 'Thi...
|
robell
|
1
|
1010
|
|
|
|
|
how your day going
(Preview)
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says...
|
Cowboy7307
|
1
|
1161
|
|
|
|
|
Holy lunch
(Preview)
An old nunwho was living in a convent next to a construction sitenoticed the coarse language of the workersand decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch;sit with the workers; and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag andwalked ov...
|
robell
|
4
|
1304
|
|
|
|
|
HOW BIG ARE YOURS?
(Preview)
Could this be true? I'd say so.Definitely! INTERESTING OBSERVATION 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. 3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASE...
|
clazandaza
|
2
|
1153
|
|
|
|
|
Getting Your Own Way
(Preview)
A woman went to the service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought it on special offer. Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, 'PINCH MY NIPPLE...
|
Cruising Granny
|
1
|
1021
|
|
|
|
|
A Letter from Grandma
(Preview)
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:Dear Grand-daughter,The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir perform...
|
sucastja
|
3
|
1087
|
|
|
