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HE ASKED FOR IT
(Preview)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,...
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goinsoon
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3
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1058
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BeWare of Wild Animals
(Preview)
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was...
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1636
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Ooooooooppppsssssss!
(Preview)
rriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.** **This is Daddy.** **Is Mommy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Gabe.'** **'Oh yes I do, a...
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justcruisin01
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3
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1093
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Mobile Phone for Seniors
(Preview)
Mobile Phone for Seniors.... (errrr, that's us )
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jimricho
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1
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964
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Struggling with the Booze
(Preview)
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jimricho
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2
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861
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This IS a Stiff one
(Preview)
The Tap on the shoulder: A bloke hails a cab , tells the cabbie where he wants to go . They are driving along & the bloke leans forward and taps the cabbie on the shoulder . The cabbie screams , mounts the footpath , nearly hits a bus & stops just before he is about to hit a semi . The bloke says sorry ma...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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1174
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Globalization;
(Preview)
A definition of globalization thatI can understand and to which I now can relate Question: What is the truest definition ofGlobalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend Crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German...
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justcruisin01
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0
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977
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cowboy;
(Preview)
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. Sh...
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justcruisin01
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0
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745
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Postcard
(Preview)
Hi there! Missing me yet? How's that change you wanted Going?
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jimricho
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5
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1271
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RUDD
(Preview)
John Howard, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a millio...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1040
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TWO STOREY DUNNY;
(Preview)
The Two Storey Dunny !!! Yep!!! This pretty much says it all. Nuff said!!!
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justcruisin01
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4
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1408
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POLITICAL CORECTNESS
(Preview)
An explanation of political corectness "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end".
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goinsoon
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1
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1651
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Management Tree
(Preview)
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Allara
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1
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889
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Bears
(Preview)
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Allara
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0
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1040
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MANNERS
(Preview)
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to g...
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goinsoon
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0
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836
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O GOD
(Preview)
Little Johnny's 2nd-grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. "Johnny," she says, "what comes after 'O'?" Johnny says, "God, I'm coming!!"
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goinsoon
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0
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932
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HOOKERS
(Preview)
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty joke, Two of the female students in the class decided to walk out on next the next joke. The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, Good morning, class. Did you hear the o...
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goinsoon
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0
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1148
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WHY
(Preview)
J: Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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goinsoon
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0
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668
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TOUGH TIMES;;
(Preview)
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the LakeBurleyGriffin . The smaller one turned to the bigger one & said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me? We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." "Well," said the big C...
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justcruisin01
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0
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924
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WIFEY:
(Preview)
An old man and woman were married for many years and they grew to hate each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!' Neigh...
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justcruisin01
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0
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721
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