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A bit of a mix-up
(Preview)
A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend.They hadn'nt been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration,that a pair of good quality gloves would strike t...
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1424
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got ya;
(Preview)
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down andwaiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Pepe, do yousmell what I smell.Ees bacon I is sure of eet.' 'Si, Luis eet smellslike bacon to meee.' So, with reneweds...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1025
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WHAT A GREAT IDEA
(Preview)
In India recently, I saw a sign that said, English speaking taxi driver. I thought, what a great idea, why dont we have them in our country? Maybe this is posted in the wrong spot because sometimes it isn't a joke is it, or then.................
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Ma
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0
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752
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On getting old...
(Preview)
One of the most frustrating thing about getting older is that every time you see an expensive antique, you remember one just like it you once thre away!
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Dunmowin
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2
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1457
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GREAT EXPLANATION!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' An...
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justcruisin01
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0
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721
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PRICE OF SILIENCE;
(Preview)
Football BootsWoman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboa...
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justcruisin01
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0
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930
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HALF WAY THERE;
(Preview)
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24inches. Later t...
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justcruisin01
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0
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745
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CABBIE AND THE NUN
(Preview)
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsomecab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a...
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clazandaza
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0
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820
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LETTERS TO LOCAL COUNCILS
(Preview)
Extracts from letters written to local councils:1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.4. Their...
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clazandaza
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1
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940
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IT,S CLEAN;;
(Preview)
What Starts with F and ends with K A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'msmarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1123
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A I ;
(Preview)
THE BLONDE AND THE COW" A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, 'The A.I. man is coming over to impregnate one of our Cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's Stall is in the barn. Ple...
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justcruisin01
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2
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869
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No second opion !;;;
(Preview)
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Murphy. The doc...
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justcruisin01
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1
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964
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Just for Dougie;;;;;
(Preview)
The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists, a > university graduate and an old aboriginal man. > > They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to think about it > then come up with a short poem that contained that word. > > The word they were given was **'...
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justcruisin01
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1
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887
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3 WISHES
(Preview)
woman finds a genie's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes, but your husband will get ten times more than what you wished for." The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, &q...
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goinsoon
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0
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836
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Women & Multi Tasking
(Preview)
I don't know what women keep bragging about being able to multi-task for. What's so great about doing three things wrong at the same time?.......LOL Hope my Missus doesnt see this LOL
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Ozduo
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8
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1312
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That's when it started
(Preview)
I gave my muva-in-law a grave-plot for Xmas . It was her birthday yesterday , she commented to me . You have not given me a birtday prezzy . I said - you have not used the xmas present I gave you . That's when it started . My wife got out of the shower and commented , "I have the body of a 18year-old" I s...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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728
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Inner Peace
(Preview)
Inner Peace Some doctor on the TV this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of s...
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clazandaza
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1
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1003
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AUSSIE STOCKMAN;
(Preview)
An Aussie stockman and his wife had just got married and found a nice hotel for their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room. He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed." The clerk winked, 'You want the 'Bridal'?' The drover refl...
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justcruisin01
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3
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1210
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SMART KID;
(Preview)
What Starts with F and ends with K A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'msmarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade...
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justcruisin01
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0
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945
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THE HABBIT;
(Preview)
----- A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye.... It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought..... Soon he sees...
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justcruisin01
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0
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870
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