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AIN'T IT THE TRUTH
(Preview)
A man walks into the council office, & says to the Customer Service Officer: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be a councillor." "I need some practice for becoming a member of parliament" The receptionist replied "certainly sir P...
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justcruisin01
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0
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839
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MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN;
(Preview)
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arr...
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justcruisin01
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1
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918
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TALKING CENTIPEDE!
(Preview)
The Talking Centipede A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. He t...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1198
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TAXES;
(Preview)
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened . Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When The postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Australia they decided to send it to Julia Gillard. Gillard was so amused tha...
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justcruisin01
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0
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791
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I'VE QUIT!
(Preview)
Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .....
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justcruisin01
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0
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909
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The Coach Captain.
(Preview)
The following is quite true. 1973, and it is the start of a twenty year career as a "professional" tour driver. Alice Springs airport, and I am picking up my first tour. It is a Japanese group, and having grown up in the bush, I had no idea about their minor language problem with the letters,...
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pipes
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4
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1561
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When will they listen
(Preview)
woman goes to the Doctor, with bruises on her face. The Doctor asks: "What happened?"The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he slaps me around." The Doctor says: "I have a real good cure for that. When your husband comes h...
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jimbo
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1
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987
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Life....
(Preview)
Life is like a hot bath, the longer u stay in the more wrinkly u get !
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Blonderer
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0
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806
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IRISH COFFEE!
(Preview)
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Via...
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justcruisin01
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0
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737
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OIL CRISIS
(Preview)
oil crisis A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in Australia. ~~~ Well, there's a very simple answer. ~~~ Nobody bothered to check the oil. ~~~ We just didn't know we were getting low. ~~~ The reason for that is purely geographical. ~~~ Our OIL is located i...
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justcruisin01
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0
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761
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Adam & Eve....
(Preview)
If Adam and Eve were the first people, would they have had belly buttons?
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Blonderer
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2
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878
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Jehovah's Witness
(Preview)
There was a knock on the door this morning, I opened it and there was a young bloke standing there who said: "I'm a Jehovah's Witness". I said "Come in and sit down, what do you want to talk about"? He said, " #####d if I know, I've never got this far before".
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jimricho
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2
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1340
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I was sitting there watching tv...
(Preview)
There I was sitting there, before dinner watching T.V. I heard management call out..."Darling would you like fish, chicken or beef for dinner?" Being quick off the mark I replied "the fish will do nicely love". She shouted back... not you lard ar...e. I am talking t...
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petengail
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1
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1034
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BUS DRIVER;
(Preview)
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekendtrip to Louisiana.The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, andthe Blonde team rode on the top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up,having a great time, when one of them r...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1019
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Eagles
(Preview)
Did you know that Eagles mate for life? Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead! Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he mus...
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jules47
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1
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757
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PADDY;
(Preview)
Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .....
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justcruisin01
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0
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835
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think first
(Preview)
-- From: maryann.pullicino@bigpond.com To: Carmuket@hotmail.com; carolmason50@yahoo.com.au; nabbott@iprimus.com.au; davidmizzi778@hotmail.com; zanthony@optusnet.com.au; mariam@sanctuarylakes.net.au; lorraine.hewett@gmail.com; shirley_565@bigpond.com; sandra1969...
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robell
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1
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1398
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Knowledge....
(Preview)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.....
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Blonderer
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0
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798
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Onestone!
(Preview)
The Indian With One TesticleThere once was an Indian who had only one testicleand whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated thatname and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.After years and years of torment, Onestone finallycracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestoneagain I will kill them...
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justcruisin01
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2
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985
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DON & DAISY
(Preview)
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. &q...
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justcruisin01
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0
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756
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