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& so Canberra is founded
(Preview)
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, Where have you been God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, Look, Michael. Look what I've made. Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "...
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1664
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the Stimulas plan
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Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:16 pm Post subject: Three contractorsThree contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Parlamental House in Can berra. One is from Sydney, another is from Adelaide, and the third is from Melbourne . All three go with a Parliment House official to examine th...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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799
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Good Trade
(Preview)
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!" The General, out for some relaxation...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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953
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Where to park th car
(Preview)
Where to park car during a Snow Emergency Ollie and Lena were listing to the radio about the snow emergency parking, and it said they were going to get 7 inches of the white stuff, and to park on the even side, so Ollie hurries, and got the old Ford parked on the even side of the street, just as the plow was c...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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622
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THE INVENTER;
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The Inventor of the Harley-Davidson Motorcycle,Arthur Davidson , Died and went to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter told Arthur.'Since you've been such a Good Man and Your Motorcycles have Changed the World, Your Reward is, you can Hang-Out with Anyone You Want to in Heaven.' Arthur Though...
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justcruisin01
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0
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897
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Parents..
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If your parents don't have any children, chances are you won't either....
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Blonderer
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0
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694
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The love game
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Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door, he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoul...
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russhenn
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3
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1259
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Venetians..
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Did you know, without venetian blinds, it would be curtains for us all.........
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Blonderer
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2
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909
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Girls , could You trust a Cricketer
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Never Trust a Cricketer Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me, Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last! My darlings do be ca...
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1009
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Church notice...
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Sign on Church.. Honk if you love Jesus.... Keep texting while your driving and you will meet him....
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Blonderer
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0
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805
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Bats and Old Age
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Firefly
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1
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983
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DRUNKS!
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DRUNKS A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slam...
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justcruisin01
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846
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BLONDE BATH;
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A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door...
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justcruisin01
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774
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SHARING
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The old man placed an order for one hamburger , French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half , placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries , dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He to...
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clazandaza
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1
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707
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These Pommies are quick!!
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This was sent to me by a Pommie mate of mine. A bloke walks into a brothel and says: "I'm a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?" The madam replies $60. "Wow, what do I get for that," he says. She says: "A baggy green cap and an Australia shirt.
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clazandaza
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1
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1003
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The cat
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You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You don't even have to like 'em! We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requ...
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jules47
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0
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856
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The Dentist
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A guy goes to the dentist and asks him to take out a tooth that is aching badly. He sits in the chair and the dentist is just about to give him an injection to remove the tooth when he says to the dentist "Please no needles I cant stand them" Thats okay I will give you gas instead says the dentist. &...
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kesue
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849
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JACK SCHMITT;
(Preview)
WHO IS JACK SCHITT? For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the f...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1039
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Paddy and Murphy
(Preview)
Paddy falls down a hole. "whats down there?" Murphy asked, "milk" said paddy, "is it pasteurised?" asked Murphy " nah it's only to my knees" said Paddy
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Pam
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0
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920
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checking in
(Preview)
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.
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jules47
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