Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Banking Crisis! If the global crisis continues at the present rate, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational....the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank! And before you know it, these two will merge, and the whole place will be full of bloody wankers.

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving. She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you." The drunk says, "Tits".

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Donation Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is!' 'This is the Internal Revenue Service . Can you help us?' 'I can!' Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do!' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!' 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.' Senility An e...

jimbo · jimbo

Time machine Barak Obama and Julia Gillard are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each. Barak goes first. What will the USA be like in 100 years time? The machine whirs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printou...

sucastja · sucastja

Dr Nut Ting Wong Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise Everything ... wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life ... of car b...

sucastja · sucastja

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smil...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... My dog chases people on a bicycle. It got so bad I had to take his bicycle away from him. (courtesy of Pam Ayers)

JRH · JRH

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a ship that had sunk. "Follow me son" the father shark said to his son and they swam to the survivors. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.&quo...

sucastja · sucastja

STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old fart, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...

DKay · DKay

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."**************************In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."****************************************************On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed.&q...

Vic · Vic

Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of words" you know . . . . like . . .. you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . .. or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me .. . . .etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy. To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless. When fish are in...

Vic · Vic

To the organisers of the Man Boob contest at Greens Lake, I would like to enter my picture for the next contest, hope I qualify. PS: If anyone else has a photo entry for this contest please add to this thread.

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady,was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little jokeas he put on his gloves. 'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and wo...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Well, a Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam'. Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she w...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them. On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tel...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The spoon: A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Last week, we took some friends to a new Indian restaurant, 'Muthu's Place,' and noticed that the Indian waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought o...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

HELGA'S DIARY DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one, - and I can't wait! -----------------------------------------...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Twas the Month before Christmas Twas the month before ChristmasWhen all through our land,Not a Christian was prayingNor taking a stand.See the PC Police had taken awayThe reason for Christmas - no one could say.The children were told by their schools not to singAbout Shepherds and Wise Men and An...

Fairy-Nuff · Fairy-Nuff

An elephant asked a camel "Why do you have your breasts on your back"? The elephant answered " That is an inappropriate question from someone who has their willie on his face". -- Edited by Fairy-Nuff on Monday 14th of November 2011 07:03:54 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	BANKING CRISIS; (Preview) Banking Crisis! If the global crisis continues at the present rate, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational....the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank! And before you know it, these two will merge, and the whole place will be full of bloody wankers.	justcruisin01	1	786	09:09 AM Nov 28, 2011 by pauline
	reading your rights (Preview) A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving. She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you." The drunk says, "Tits".	justcruisin01	0	750	10:22 PM Nov 27, 2011 by justcruisin01
	A Collection of Smiles (Preview) Donation Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is!' 'This is the Internal Revenue Service . Can you help us?' 'I can!' Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do!' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!' 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.' Senility An e...	Cruising Granny	1	918	09:24 PM Nov 27, 2011 by jules47
	Time Machine (Preview) Time machine Barak Obama and Julia Gillard are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each. Barak goes first. What will the USA be like in 100 years time? The machine whirs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printou...	jimbo	0	736	01:57 PM Nov 25, 2011 by jimbo
	Dr Nut Ting Wong (Preview) Dr Nut Ting Wong Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise Everything ... wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life ... of car b...	sucastja	0	2074	09:21 PM Nov 24, 2011 by sucastja
	The bus and the zipper (Preview) In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smil...	sucastja	1	1078	11:18 AM Nov 23, 2011 by rvtraveller2
	Dog (Preview) Gday... My dog chases people on a bicycle. It got so bad I had to take his bicycle away from him. (courtesy of Pam Ayers)	rockylizard	1	1063	11:02 PM Nov 22, 2011 by goinsoon
	Why Sharks Swim In Circles (Preview) Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a ship that had sunk. "Follow me son" the father shark said to his son and they swam to the survivors. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.&quo...	JRH	0	1001	11:15 AM Nov 22, 2011 by JRH
	Old Rooster vs Stud Rooster (Preview) STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old fart, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...	sucastja	0	1209	06:06 PM Nov 21, 2011 by sucastja
	"Sayings" (Preview) Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."************************In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."**************************************************On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed.&q...	DKay	0	1015	02:28 PM Nov 21, 2011 by DKay
	Lexiphile..... (Preview) Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of words" you know . . . . like . . .. you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . .. or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me .. . . .etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy. To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless. When fish are in...	Vic	1	1273	10:49 PM Nov 20, 2011 by goinsoon
	Get Together Man Boob Contest - Entry Photo's here (Preview) To the organisers of the Man Boob contest at Greens Lake, I would like to enter my picture for the next contest, hope I qualify. PS: If anyone else has a photo entry for this contest please add to this thread.	Vic	10	2077	10:39 PM Nov 20, 2011 by Vic
	REHAB! (Preview)	justcruisin01	0	1031	04:39 PM Nov 20, 2011 by justcruisin01
	RUBBER GLOVES; (Preview) A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady,was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little jokeas he put on his gloves. 'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and wo...	justcruisin01	0	878	04:36 PM Nov 20, 2011 by justcruisin01
	potato (Preview) Well, a Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam'. Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she w...	justcruisin01	3	1067	08:54 AM Nov 20, 2011 by jules47
	PADDY McCOY . (Preview) Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them. On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tel...	justcruisin01	0	990	12:19 PM Nov 19, 2011 by justcruisin01
	THE SPOON ! (Preview) The spoon: A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Last week, we took some friends to a new Indian restaurant, 'Muthu's Place,' and noticed that the Indian waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought o...	justcruisin01	0	951	12:15 PM Nov 19, 2011 by justcruisin01
	HELGA'S DIARY; (Preview) HELGA'S DIARY DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one, - and I can't wait! -----------------------------------------...	justcruisin01	1	922	03:50 PM Nov 17, 2011 by goinsoon
	Politically Correct Silly Season (Preview) *Twas the Month before Christmas* Twas the month before ChristmasWhen all through our land,Not a Christian was prayingNor taking a stand.See the PC Police had taken awayThe reason for Christmas - no one could say.The children were told by their schools not to singAbout Shepherds and Wise Men and An...	Cruising Granny	1	933	06:04 PM Nov 16, 2011 by JRH
	Judging others (Preview) An elephant asked a camel "Why do you have your breasts on your back"? The elephant answered " That is an inappropriate question from someone who has their willie on his face". -- Edited by Fairy-Nuff on Monday 14th of November 2011 07:03:54 PM	Fairy-Nuff	2	943	10:46 PM Nov 14, 2011 by Fairy-Nuff
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