Just Joking

jules47 · jules47

And another one ...............Brings tears to the eyes.........!! For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wor...

jimbo · jimbo

C'mon peoples I need a laugh.....The Pies Got thrashed last week

robell · robell

HUSBAND FINISHES READING THE BOOK "BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE" & SAYS TO HIS WIFE, FROM NOW ON MY WORD IS LAW. YOU WILL PREPARE ME A GOURMET MEAL TONIGHT WITH A SCRUMPTIOUS DESSERT. AFTERWARDS WE WILL HAVE THE KIND OF SEX THAT I WANT. YOU WILL BATHE ME AS I RELAX, TOWEL DRY ME THEN MASSAGE MY FEE...

robell · robell

MALE V FEMALE AT THE ATM A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing th...

jules47 · jules47

Just for you Jimbo - Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said " So why are you here ? " The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the c...

jules47 · jules47

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest.' 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I n...

DandS · DandS

Real EstateA businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.On the way t...

jules47 · jules47

Willy Peppers - Tears Of Joy - ..nature is very interesting ... For all the keen gardeners out there........... I have never seen a Willy Pepper before... These are actual peppers from a garden. They really are called 'WillyPeppers'.. By the way, the farmer says they can grow up to 18" long!!Sor...

JRH · JRH

Seen on the back of a vehicle................ "Show me your Brazilian and I'll show you I'm Australian"

jules47 · jules47

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred- ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..'...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Last Saturday afternoon, in Canberra , an aide to Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in Canberra . He told the Cardinal that Kevin would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point him out to the congregation and say a few w...

gubby · gubby

An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner...

gubby · gubby

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!' Ms. Brooks had had enough....

jimbo · jimbo

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum'. With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. 'D...

DandS · DandS

First: We are not advertising this nor are we associated with the company in any way. We received this email today. Syl thinks it would be creepy to use it.

http://www.dealme.com.au/deal/national/1495-boyfriend-pillow/

Beth54 · Beth54

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a seni...

Travel Bug · Travel Bug

Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar. Rachel arrives first, wearing an Alannah Hill outfit. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Clare arrives shortly afterward, in Sass & Bid...

Travel Bug · Travel Bug

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, during her questions about his life, she asked how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said "Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree." Jane said, "Tarzan you have it all...

robell · robell

Julie Andrews Turns 70, this is brilliant! To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattann bsp;'s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favourite Things' from the legendary movie '...

oldphartz · oldphartz

Image the scene. An elderly couple sitting on the verandah. She is quaffing white wine. The wife says. If you were to leave me I would pine and die without the pleasure of your uplifting company The husband looks at her quizzically, and said Is that you or the wine talking? Neither she said. Im talking to...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Mammogram (Preview) And another one ...............Brings tears to the eyes.........!! For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wor...	jules47	4	1196	06:32 PM Sep 8, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	C"Mon (Preview) C'mon peoples I need a laugh.....The Pies Got thrashed last week	jimbo	2	760	06:29 PM Sep 8, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Man about the house (Preview) HUSBAND FINISHES READING THE BOOK "BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE" & SAYS TO HIS WIFE, FROM NOW ON MY WORD IS LAW. YOU WILL PREPARE ME A GOURMET MEAL TONIGHT WITH A SCRUMPTIOUS DESSERT. AFTERWARDS WE WILL HAVE THE KIND OF SEX THAT I WANT. YOU WILL BATHE ME AS I RELAX, TOWEL DRY ME THEN MASSAGE MY FEE...	robell	2	1050	04:45 PM Sep 8, 2011 by jimbo
	The A T M (Preview) MALE V FEMALE AT THE ATM A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing th...	robell	0	838	07:34 PM Sep 7, 2011 by robell
	The Vet surgery (Preview) Just for you Jimbo - Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said " So why are you here ? " The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the c...	jules47	1	866	11:55 AM Sep 7, 2011 by jimbo
	Sympathy (Preview) Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest.' 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I n...	jules47	0	790	07:38 AM Sep 6, 2011 by jules47
	Real Estate ? (Preview) Real EstateA businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.On the way t...	DandS	1	934	03:01 PM Sep 4, 2011 by jimbo
	Willy Peppers (Preview) Willy Peppers - Tears Of Joy - ..nature is very interesting ... For all the keen gardeners out there........... I *have never seen a Willy Pepper before... These are actual peppers from a garden.* *They really are called 'WillyPeppers'..* By the way, the farmer says they can grow up to 18" long!!Sor...**	jules47	8	1774	10:37 AM Sep 4, 2011 by Loffty
	Brazilian (Preview) Seen on the back of a vehicle................ "Show me your Brazilian and I'll show you I'm Australian"	JRH	19	1181	09:01 AM Sep 4, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	A 710 (Preview) A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred- ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..'...	jules47	9	1316	12:47 AM Sep 4, 2011 by jules47
	SMART BISHOP; (Preview) Last Saturday afternoon, in Canberra , an aide to Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in Canberra . He told the Cardinal that Kevin would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point him out to the congregation and say a few w...	justcruisin01	0	958	12:02 PM Sep 2, 2011 by justcruisin01
	A question of price... (Preview) An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner...	gubby	0	812	12:00 PM Sep 2, 2011 by gubby
	Smart Kid... (Preview) A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!' Ms. Brooks had had enough....	gubby	0	610	11:57 AM Sep 2, 2011 by gubby
	A Mothers Pain... (Preview) A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum'. With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. 'D...	jimbo	3	753	09:33 AM Sep 2, 2011 by Rip and Rosie
	Are they fair dinkum??? (Preview) First: We are not advertising this nor are we associated with the company in any way. We received this email today. Syl thinks it would be creepy to use it. http://www.dealme.com.au/deal/national/1495-boyfriend-pillow/	DandS	4	874	09:30 AM Sep 2, 2011 by Rip and Rosie
	THE PARKING TICKET (Preview) Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a seni...	Beth54	2	1113	09:42 PM Sep 1, 2011 by Happywanderer
	Aussie Reunion... (Preview) Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar. Rachel arrives first, wearing an Alannah Hill outfit. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Clare arrives shortly afterward, in Sass & Bid...	Travel Bug	4	1468	08:11 PM Aug 31, 2011 by jimbo
	Tarzan and Jane... (Preview) When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, during her questions about his life, she asked how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said "Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree." Jane said, "Tarzan you have it all...	Travel Bug	2	841	08:08 PM Aug 31, 2011 by jimbo
	Julie Andrew's (Preview) Julie Andrews Turns 70, this is brilliant! To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattann bsp;'s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favourite Things' from the legendary movie '...	robell	0	888	07:15 PM Aug 31, 2011 by robell
	Wonders of wine (Preview) Image the scene. An elderly couple sitting on the verandah. She is quaffing white wine. The wife says. If you were to leave me I would pine and die without the pleasure of your uplifting company The husband looks at her quizzically, and said Is that you or the wine talking? Neither she said. Im talking to...	oldphartz	4	1051	05:46 PM Aug 31, 2011 by jules47
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