Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A Man walks into a High Street bank & asks for a loan. He tells the bank officer he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000 The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Liverpool lad hands over the keys and documents of...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

It was coming to the end of the day and sitting in his tiny near deserted local pub in Mt. Isa was an Aboriginal called Cactus. He was having a few beers as usual when a short well dressed and obviously gay man walked in and sat beside him. After three or four beers, the gay man leaned over towards Cactus and w...

jimbo · jimbo

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "Id like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband.&q...

jimbo · jimbo

After being married forthirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G,H, I, J, K." She asks ... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The Old Cowboy The old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.As he sat sipping his coffee, a pretty young woman sat down next to him.. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cattle, going t...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Had to get some new 'grundies' th other day. Got home opened th 5pack up to put in 'grundies' draw . One of them was a 'Meatloaf' pair Yeah .... honetly On the front it read I will do anything for love on th back But I won't do that. Richo

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

On their way to get married, a young Roman Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While anxiously waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? W...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An old drover named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote stock route in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW 4WD advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I...

Cupie · Cupie

Old Timers Bar Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, '...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

For all my fellow travellers: MY SATNAV I have a little Satnav It sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver's friend It tells you where you are I have a little Satnav I've had it all my life It does more than the normal one My Satnav is my wife It gives me full instructions On exactly how to drive "It's th...

Peterpan · Peterpan

Women like silent men, they think they are listening.

hammer · hammer

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Schooner of New" The robot brings back the best beer ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The...

hammer · hammer

A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. 'You are all part of our team now', said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. 'You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees'. The cannibals promised th...

bill12 · bill12

Grey nomad is in a bar and sees a nice lady about the same age. "would you like a glass " he says. "yes" she says. "I need one toput my teeth in!" Loa. Bill

hammer · hammer

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight...

barina · barina

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts &qu...

jimbo · jimbo

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a wo...

barina · barina

While creating women, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. And then He smiled and made the earth round

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

I was at a show over th w/end . This bloke had seven blokes hypnotised . Had them doing all sorts of Weird & funny thingo's He dropped his microphone . Said ---- me!!! What happened next , will stay with me for th rest of my life. Richo

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	HIGH FINANCE; (Preview) A Man walks into a High Street bank & asks for a loan. He tells the bank officer he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000 The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Liverpool lad hands over the keys and documents of...	justcruisin01	0	990	02:54 AM May 29, 2012 by justcruisin01
	CACTUS; (Preview) It was coming to the end of the day and sitting in his tiny near deserted local pub in Mt. Isa was an Aboriginal called Cactus. He was having a few beers as usual when a short well dressed and obviously gay man walked in and sat beside him. After three or four beers, the gay man leaned over towards Cactus and w...	justcruisin01	0	896	02:50 AM May 29, 2012 by justcruisin01
	Married Life (Preview) A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "Id like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband.&q...	jimbo	0	771	08:48 PM May 28, 2012 by jimbo
	The ABC (Preview) After being married forthirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G,H, I, J, K." She asks ... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,...	jimbo	0	748	08:35 PM May 28, 2012 by jimbo
	THE OLD COWBOY; (Preview) The Old Cowboy The old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.As he sat sipping his coffee, a pretty young woman sat down next to him.. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cattle, going t...	justcruisin01	0	891	07:51 PM May 28, 2012 by justcruisin01
	Grundies (Preview) Had to get some new 'grundies' th other day. Got home opened th 5pack up to put in 'grundies' draw . One of them was a 'Meatloaf' pair Yeah .... honetly On the front it read I will do anything for love on th back But I won't do that. Richo	Zoomtopz	0	783	01:42 PM May 27, 2012 by Zoomtopz
	GETTING MARRIED; (Preview) On their way to get married, a young Roman Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While anxiously waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? W...	justcruisin01	0	914	02:31 AM May 26, 2012 by justcruisin01
	PICKLE SLICER; (Preview) Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it...	justcruisin01	0	887	02:30 AM May 26, 2012 by justcruisin01
	SO TRUE; (Preview) An old drover named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote stock route in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW 4WD advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I...	justcruisin01	1	1109	04:56 AM May 26, 2012 by Travel Bug
	Grey Nomads (Preview) Old Timers Bar Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, '...	Cupie	2	1215	06:40 AM May 25, 2012 by Cruising Granny
	MY SATNAV (Preview) For all my fellow travellers: MY SATNAV I have a little Satnav It sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver's friend It tells you where you are I have a little Satnav I've had it all my life It does more than the normal one My Satnav is my wife It gives me full instructions On exactly how to drive "It's th...	Cruising Granny	0	885	11:26 PM May 23, 2012 by Cruising Granny
	I am being brave. (Preview) Women like silent men, they think they are listening.	Peterpan	2	993	11:58 PM May 23, 2012 by bill12
	Best Bar Joke ever (Preview) Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Schooner of New" The robot brings back the best beer ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The...	hammer	4	1528	11:34 PM May 23, 2012 by Comebak-Wilson
	The Admin Chick (Preview) A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. 'You are all part of our team now', said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. 'You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees'. The cannibals promised th...	hammer	1	998	11:29 PM May 23, 2012 by Cruising Granny
	grey nomad pick up line. (Preview) Grey nomad is in a bar and sees a nice lady about the same age. "would you like a glass " he says. "yes" she says. "I need one toput my teeth in!" Loa. Bill	bill12	1	1133	05:26 AM May 22, 2012 by Travel Bug
	This is your Captain speaking (Preview) Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight...	hammer	0	893	03:08 AM May 19, 2012 by hammer
	to be sure (Preview) Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts &qu...	barina	0	949	02:56 AM May 18, 2012 by barina
	Happy Life! If only. (Preview) FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a wo...	jimbo	0	867	08:22 PM May 16, 2012 by jimbo
	Design mishap (Preview) *While creating women, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.* *And then He smiled and made the earth round*	barina	0	883	04:20 AM May 16, 2012 by barina
	Another Hypnotist (Preview) I was at a show over th w/end . This bloke had seven blokes hypnotised . Had them doing all sorts of Weird & funny thingo's He dropped his microphone . Said ---- me!!! What happened next , will stay with me for th rest of my life. Richo	Zoomtopz	0	689	10:32 PM May 15, 2012 by Zoomtopz
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