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I HAVE OUT LIVED MY PECKER ;
(Preview)
"I have outlived my pecker My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the f***in' thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way it would be...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1557
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TURF;
(Preview)
Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, Im gonna do dat when I win da lottery. What's dat den? asks Mikey. Send me lawn away to be mowed."
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justcruisin01
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0
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702
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Senior Moments
(Preview)
This is hilarious http://www.rtbot.net/play.php?id=Xv1tMioGgXI Cheers! Chris
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gypsy rover
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1
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1021
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There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning
(Preview)
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down facing me." Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieki...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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1497
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and some more....
(Preview)
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barina
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2
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891
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bumper stickers
(Preview)
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barina
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0
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840
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1960 Hits Renamed
(Preview)
1960 Hits RenamedSome of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers who can remember doing the "Limbo" as if it were yesterday. They include: Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Flash Herman's Hermits --...
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rockylizard
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2
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1591
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Psychiatrist
(Preview)
A woman told her psychiatrist she was having trouble with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions without getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally, he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you're having sex?" "Well, yes. Once." "Ho...
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jimbo
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3
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1092
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Growing Old
(Preview)
We'll get like this if we're lucky enough to get that far.
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HOOK
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3
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1233
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BUSTRIP;
(Preview)
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes,charter a double-Deckerbus for a weekendtrip toLouisiana. The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, andthe Blonde teamrode onthe top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up,having a great time, when one of them re...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1027
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Old Buggar
(Preview)
After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex, I am usually cold and chilly; and then after I have sex with her the second ti...
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jimbo
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2
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1158
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OLD COWBOY;
(Preview)
The old, blind and brave cowboy An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke? The bar immediately falls absolutely silent....
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justcruisin01
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0
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943
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VENTRILOQUIST;
(Preview)
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one Night, he's doing a show in a small fishing town. With his Dummy on his knee, he starts going Through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth Row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough ofyour stupid...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1007
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Poor Bob
(Preview)
Bob wakes up one morning and goes to the bathroom mirror. Rubbing his eyes he focuses for a better look and spots a lump in the middle of his forehead. "No worries, I'll put a bit of Clearasil on and she'll be gone by next morning" This goes on for a month and by now the lump is sticking out about 2 i...
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HOOK
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0
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949
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Mixed Emotions
(Preview)
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of "mixed emotions". The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that is a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time. She said:...
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sucastja
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2
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1088
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Childbirth at 65
(Preview)
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth... When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new baby?' I asked 'Not yet ,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can chat for a while first.' ...
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Cowboy7307
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1
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1044
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The Ant and the Grasshopper
(Preview)
The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER This one is a little different .......TwoDifferent Versions ...... There are Different Morals OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laug...
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sucastja
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1
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1052
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"Fluctuations"
(Preview)
I was in th bank today , very short line , I overheard this . Woman saying to teller "yestday I get 2 hunat dolla for yen , tday only 180 dolla , y" The teller replies "fluctuations" To which th woman replies "fluct you white people too" Richo
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Zoomtopz
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0
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715
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old timer story
(Preview)
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothe...
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hammer
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0
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841
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Turpentine
(Preview)
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.' The Priest said, 'No, the most pow...
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Brenda and Alan
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0
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823
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