Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room---the first surgeries of the day. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Question: Is sex Work? A U.S.Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his...

_wombat_ · _wombat_

Young Joanne was having trouble with her computer.So she called Tim, the computer tech, over to her desk.Tim clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, Joanne called after him, So, what was wrong? He replied, It was an ID ten T error.A puzzled expression ran riot over J...

old briney · old briney

An older gentleman was On the operating tableAwaiting surgery,And he insisted that his son,A renowned surgeon,Perform the operation.As he was about to get the anesthesia,He asked to speak to his son'Yes, Dad, what is it? ''Don't be nervous, son;Do your best,And just remember,If it doesn't go wel...

ozi2 · ozi2

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to Labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I afraid I don't have a husband" she replied "O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife. "No, no boyfriend either. Do you have a partn...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An Aussie Poem The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock The ****y took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock. He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank And s...

Vic · Vic

Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' s...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady r...

Vic · Vic

When we pack up in the morning may the annex be quite dry May the pegs be easily removed and no leaves stick to the fly Let the stabilisers wind up without that horrid squeak And loose items give no trouble when to stow them we seek May I back up with the ball lined up precisely with its mate And remember to re...

old briney · old briney

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

# How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks # What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks # What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain # When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where...

jules47 · jules47

I did not know this... When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems. When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you...

jules47 · jules47

The English Plural According to .... We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes; One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese; You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not...

jules47 · jules47

-- Edited by jules47 on Thursday 2nd of February 2012 05:41:29 PM

jimbo · jimbo

HAVE NOT HEARD IT PUT BETTER!!!!!!!! A Paki's? son asks his dad, "Dad, what's democracy?" "Well, son, that's when whites work and we get all the benefits from it!" "But dad, aren't the white people pissed off about it?" "Sure they are son, but that's called '...

old briney · old briney

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why Doctors call what they do "practice"? Why you have to...

clazandaza · clazandaza

When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humour! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their h...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few yearsago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs.It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture ofcoo...

jules47 · jules47

Smart Arse!!!! > > > > Two businessmen in Melbourne were sitting down for a > > break in their soon-to-be new shop... > > > > As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves > > set up. > > > > > > One said to the other, "I bet any minute no...

goinsoon · goinsoon

Got this while searching the net, but just had to post it

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	TWO KIDS; (Preview) Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room---the first surgeries of the day. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."...	justcruisin01	0	847	06:42 AM Feb 11, 2012 by justcruisin01
	QUESTION; (Preview) Question: Is sex Work? A U.S.Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his...	justcruisin01	0	1203	06:40 AM Feb 11, 2012 by justcruisin01
	ID ten T error (Preview) Young Joanne was having trouble with her computer.So she called Tim, the computer tech, over to her desk.Tim clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, Joanne called after him, So, what was wrong? He replied, It was an ID ten T error.A puzzled expression ran riot over J...	_wombat_	0	820	08:58 PM Feb 10, 2012 by _wombat_
	Awaiting surgery (Preview) An older gentleman was On the operating tableAwaiting surgery,And he insisted that his son,A renowned surgeon,Perform the operation.As he was about to get the anesthesia,He asked to speak to his son'Yes, Dad, what is it? ''Don't be nervous, son;Do your best,And just remember,If it doesn't go wel...	old briney	0	773	04:23 AM Feb 10, 2012 by old briney
	midwife crisis (Preview) A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to Labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I afraid I don't have a husband" she replied "O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife. "No, no boyfriend either. Do you have a partn...	ozi2	2	806	09:55 PM Feb 9, 2012 by jonathan
	AN AUSSIE POEM; (Preview) An Aussie Poem The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock The ****y took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock. He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank And s...	justcruisin01	1	1189	06:30 AM Feb 9, 2012 by dropbear68
	Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders (Preview) Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' s...	Vic	0	794	03:18 AM Feb 6, 2012 by Vic
	NO REPEATS; (Preview) A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady r...	justcruisin01	0	846	11:33 PM Feb 5, 2012 by justcruisin01
	Caravanner's Prayer (Preview) When we pack up in the morning may the annex be quite dry May the pegs be easily removed and no leaves stick to the fly Let the stabilisers wind up without that horrid squeak And loose items give no trouble when to stow them we seek May I back up with the ball lined up precisely with its mate And remember to re...	Vic	1	1018	06:01 PM Feb 5, 2012 by jules47
	A STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM...AND HOW HE DID IT (Preview) Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you...	old briney	3	1086	01:55 AM Feb 5, 2012 by Mousey
	YOUR CRUISE AWAITS; (Preview) # How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks # What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks # What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain # When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where...	justcruisin01	1	821	06:21 AM Feb 3, 2012 by old briney
	Danger of using Ice (Preview) I did not know this... When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems. When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you...	jules47	0	854	09:34 PM Feb 2, 2012 by jules47
	The English Plural (Preview) The English Plural According to .... We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes; One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese; You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not...	jules47	0	1001	09:32 PM Feb 2, 2012 by jules47
	Does she really need instructions?? (Preview) -- Edited by jules47 on Thursday 2nd of February 2012 05:41:29 PM	jules47	3	885	02:38 AM Feb 3, 2012 by JRH
	Racism (Preview) HAVE NOT HEARD IT PUT BETTER!!!!!!!! A Paki's? son asks his dad, "Dad, what's democracy?" "Well, son, that's when whites work and we get all the benefits from it!" "But dad, aren't the white people pissed off about it?" "Sure they are son, but that's called '...	jimbo	0	775	02:41 AM Feb 2, 2012 by jimbo
	EVER WONDER where we are headed... (Preview) Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why Doctors call what they do "practice"? Why you have to...	old briney	0	767	06:35 PM Feb 1, 2012 by old briney
	BATTLE OF MINDS (Preview) When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humour! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their h...	clazandaza	0	736	06:15 PM Jan 31, 2012 by clazandaza
	thief (Preview) You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few yearsago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs.It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture ofcoo...	oldrtvute	2	938	04:19 AM Jan 31, 2012 by neilnruth
	New Shop (Preview) Smart Arse!!!! > > > > Two businessmen in Melbourne were sitting down for a > > break in their soon-to-be new shop... > > > > As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves > > set up. > > > > > > One said to the other, "I bet any minute no...	jules47	0	825	10:44 PM Jan 29, 2012 by jules47
	HAD TO POST IT (Preview) Got this while searching the net, but just had to post it	goinsoon	1	851	05:48 PM Jan 29, 2012 by _wombat_
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