Just Joking

DandS · DandS

An aeroplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the aircra...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!&quo...

Dunco · Dunco

Here is Londons New Olympic Logo

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

This is enough to make your eyebrows furrow.

The Bathing Suit (by 'Unknown', a middle-age woman)

When I was a teenager in the 1950s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back a...

Palebushman · Palebushman

Possibly seen at Mareeba?

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

That's an incredible example of administration stupidity where costs a lot of money. LIFE IN AUSTRALIA On Thursday, 24th January 2002 , Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW, Australia ) received a bill for hi...

Kev-Maz · Kev-Maz

Got a phone call from my mate last night. He had just got back from a day out in London and told me that whilst there he'd acquired a brand new top of the range camera absolutely free. I asked, ''How did you get that?'' He said, ''I met a very nice family from Japan whilst I was in Trafalgar square and was just p...

robell · robell

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't...

robell · robell

A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said,"Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and f...

DandS · DandS

A husband is looking at his credit card statement and notices an amount of $360 and asks his wife about the charge. She answers, "I purchased some lotion". "Lotion" he yells, "what lotion costs $360" His wife explains that the lotion is for her breasts and if she co...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Yes I am sensitive to People who are still hurting.I think they will have a chuckle at this tho.During the recent flood in a small Queensland town, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy. As they sat watching articles float by in the water, they noticed an old hat go past..Suddenly, th...

jules47 · jules47

My one day of employmentSo after landing my new job as a Bunnings greeter (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day ................... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean, woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them...

robell · robell

Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and **** for Brains. EATING OUT· When the bill ar...

jimbo · jimbo

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

> > HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND > THINKING, > SURELY I CAN'T > LOOK THAT OLD? WELL.....YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE! > > MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY > FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I...

robell · robell

WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 'If you don't straight...

jimbo · jimbo

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. _ Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road. The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know this face but I can't put a name to it." The second pick...

robell · robell

you gotta luv the irish!! Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a v...

jules47 · jules47

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected! Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly ......... on a broomstick..... We are flexible like that.

Vic · Vic

This is funny, but also very sad for those in that position.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV-oYe4xLkU -- Edited by Vic on Tuesday 2nd of August 2011 03:46:38 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Five passengers, Four Parachutes. (Preview) An aeroplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the aircra...	DandS	0	637	02:58 PM Aug 16, 2011 by DandS
	SURFING THE TV; (Preview) An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!&quo...	justcruisin01	0	593	07:53 PM Aug 15, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Londons NEW Olympic Logo released (Preview) Here is Londons New Olympic Logo	Dunco	0	701	01:50 PM Aug 15, 2011 by Dunco
	Swimsuit Fitting (Preview) This is enough to make your eyebrows furrow. The Bathing Suit (by 'Unknown', a middle-age woman) When I was a teenager in the 1950s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back a...	Cruising Granny	4	1219	04:30 PM Aug 14, 2011 by kandagal
	NOW THAT'S A BALLOON (Preview) Possibly seen at Mareeba?	Palebushman	1	925	09:33 PM Aug 13, 2011 by justcruisin01
	ADMINISTRATION STUPIDITY (Preview) That's an incredible example of administration stupidity where costs a lot of money. LIFE IN AUSTRALIA On Thursday, 24th January 2002 , Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW, Australia ) received a bill for hi...	Cruising Granny	5	1235	10:41 AM Aug 13, 2011 by DKay
	Free Camera (Preview) Got a phone call from my mate last night. He had just got back from a day out in London and told me that whilst there he'd acquired a brand new top of the range camera absolutely free. I asked, ''How did you get that?'' *He said, ''I met a very nice family from Japan whilst I was in Trafalgar square and was just p...*	Kev-Maz	4	806	07:01 AM Aug 13, 2011 by jules47
	err (Preview) Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't...	robell	0	746	08:54 PM Aug 12, 2011 by robell
	choices (Preview) A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said,"Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and f...	robell	0	742	08:51 PM Aug 12, 2011 by robell
	Toilet Paper ???? (Preview) A husband is looking at his credit card statement and notices an amount of $360 and asks his wife about the charge. She answers, "I purchased some lotion". "Lotion" he yells, "what lotion costs $360" His wife explains that the lotion is for her breasts and if she co...	DandS	3	742	05:57 AM Aug 12, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	An Aussie will get thru anything with a decent Laugh. (Preview) Yes I am sensitive to People who are still hurting.I think they will have a chuckle at this tho.During the recent flood in a small Queensland town, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy. As they sat watching articles float by in the water, they noticed an old hat go past..Suddenly, th...	Zoomtopz	5	988	11:12 PM Aug 11, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	my new job (Preview) My one day of employmentSo after landing my new job as a Bunnings greeter (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day ................... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean, woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them...	jules47	1	662	08:51 PM Aug 11, 2011 by Travel Bug
	True or false (Preview) Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and ** for Brains. EATING OUT**· When the bill ar...	robell	0	870	10:24 PM Aug 8, 2011 by robell
	Hope this is Okay! (Preview) Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning...	jimbo	9	1102	08:34 PM Aug 6, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	AGE! (Preview) > > HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND > THINKING, > SURELY I CAN'T > LOOK THAT OLD? WELL.....YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE! > > MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY > FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I...	justcruisin01	1	977	09:15 PM Aug 5, 2011 by jimbo
	How many times have you heard these (Preview) WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 'If you don't straight...	robell	6	1160	08:55 PM Aug 4, 2011 by robell
	Irish (Preview) The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. _ Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road. The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know this face but I can't put a name to it." The second pick...	jimbo	1	784	06:38 PM Aug 4, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Irish love (Preview) you gotta luv the irish!! Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a v...	robell	0	771	06:43 PM Aug 2, 2011 by robell
	Feminine Philosophy (Preview) Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected! Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly ......... on a broomstick..... We are flexible like that.	jules47	0	796	04:29 PM Aug 2, 2011 by jules47
	I'd Rather Be Dead Than Wet My Bed.....Harry Nilson (Preview) This is funny, but also very sad for those in that position.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV-oYe4xLkU -- Edited by Vic on Tuesday 2nd of August 2011 03:46:38 PM	Vic	0	922	03:46 PM Aug 2, 2011 by Vic
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