Just Joking

tcp99 · tcp99

rockylizard · rockylizard

A government warning last night said that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets or sleeping bag, extra clothing including a scarf hat and gloves. Also a 24 hour supply of food and drink, a de-icer, rock salt, torch & spare batteries. In addition they should take a Saf...

Pete49 · Pete49

My trip to the IGA Store!... There was a bit of confusion at the IGA store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note that I complain to her boss and the IGA franchise people I did just as she had instructed....

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

'Scotch, with two drops of water please.'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate My 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartend...

gerard gue · gerard gue

> Jerome is at the bar with his friend Matthew. > He takes his phone and calls his wife Clemence a very dry tone: > - Hello, yes, prepare hot water, I will soon return. > Then he hangs up. > His friend, admiring, said: > - Oh you, you're a real man! This is how it should talk to women with a...

2weis · 2weis

edited with apologies -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 04:53:12 PM -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 05:36:52 PM

spida · spida

A Muslim bloke was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn a copy for me. . . . . Well, talk about getting upset!!!!!

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Ain't it the truth!!! They are referred to as homo slackass-erectus created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing and spasmodic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkwar...

rockylizard · rockylizard

A son asks his lawyer father about ethics. "Suppose son, that one day a gentleman comes into my office with a simple question. Upon answering the man's question, I charge him $100.00. He is outraged at the bill for such a simple question but agrees to pay. The man reaches in his wallet and grabs a h...

lilly31 · lilly31

FIVE CATHOLICS Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square , Rome . The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, Everyone calls him 'Father'." ... The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop.When he w...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland .. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pubdrinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the opendoor of the pub and sat down next to the woman. 'MrsFi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

try explaining this to your grand-kids!) Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spider's home A virus was the flu A CD was a bank account A hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was w...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Although they enjoyed their new caravan together, it was the husband who was the one who parked the van in parks. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear, pretend that I am having a heart attack; You must get the van safel...

Kev-Maz · Kev-Maz

She's single... She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door... I rushed to open it. She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, a...

spida · spida

DO YOU THINK THE CHILDREN OF TODAY HAVE IT TOO EASY? Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

As only the Irish can tell a story!!!!!! Enjoy. Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all beenable to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on th...

Big Gorilla · Big Gorilla

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50 Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kgpotato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that yo...

DandS · DandS

Texting codes for seniorsor us old farts with mobiles Young people have theirs, now us Seniors can have our own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizen...

rockylizard · rockylizard

A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the ga...

biggles · biggles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujwod-vqyqA

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Perfect Wine Glass (Preview)	tcp99	1	748	10:45 PM Jan 16, 2013 by justcruisin01
	Some advice from my UK friend... (Preview) A government warning last night said that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets or sleeping bag, extra clothing including a scarf hat and gloves. Also a 24 hour supply of food and drink, a de-icer, rock salt, torch & spare batteries. In addition they should take a Saf...	rockylizard	2	820	06:58 AM Jan 16, 2013 by Boothie
	not allowed to go shopping anymore (Preview) My trip to the IGA Store!... There was a bit of confusion at the IGA store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note that I complain to her boss and the IGA franchise people I did just as she had instructed....	Pete49	0	773	03:49 AM Jan 15, 2013 by Pete49
	TWO DROPS OF WATER; (Preview) 'Scotch, with two drops of water please.'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate My 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartend...	justcruisin01	0	1043	04:22 AM Jan 13, 2013 by justcruisin01
	THE AUTHORITY (Preview) > Jerome is at the bar with his friend Matthew. > He takes his phone and calls his wife Clemence a very dry tone: > - Hello, yes, prepare hot water, I will soon return. > Then he hangs up. > His friend, admiring, said: > - Oh you, you're a real man! This is how it should talk to women with a...	gerard gue	0	755	06:46 PM Jan 11, 2013 by gerard gue
	good citizen (Preview) edited with apologies -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 04:53:12 PM -- Edited by 2weis on Friday 11th of January 2013 05:36:52 PM	2weis	1	818	09:19 PM Jan 11, 2013 by Rip and Rosie
	the Koran (Preview) A Muslim bloke was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn a copy for me. . . . . Well, talk about getting upset!!!!!	spida	0	899	06:09 PM Jan 10, 2013 by spida
	GEN -Y ; (Preview) Ain't it the truth!!! They are referred to as homo slackass-erectus created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing and spasmodic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkwar...	justcruisin01	2	759	11:56 PM Jan 10, 2013 by mongrel
	A question of ethics (Preview) A son asks his lawyer father about ethics. "Suppose son, that one day a gentleman comes into my office with a simple question. Upon answering the man's question, I charge him $100.00. He is outraged at the bill for such a simple question but agrees to pay. The man reaches in his wallet and grabs a h...	rockylizard	0	916	11:59 PM Jan 9, 2013 by rockylizard
	MY GOD LOL (Preview) FIVE CATHOLICS Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square , Rome . The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, Everyone calls him 'Father'." ... The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop.When he w...	lilly31	2	1139	05:39 AM Jan 9, 2013 by jules47
	REVEREND JOHN FLAPPS ; (Preview) The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland .. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pubdrinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the opendoor of the pub and sat down next to the woman. 'MrsFi...	justcruisin01	4	954	05:23 AM Jan 9, 2013 by justcruisin01
	THE ORIGINAL COMPUTOR; (Preview) try explaining this to your grand-kids!) Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spider's home A virus was the flu A CD was a bank account A hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was w...	justcruisin01	1	936	05:10 AM Jan 9, 2013 by pauline
	What's good for the goose ? (Preview) Although they enjoyed their new caravan together, it was the husband who was the one who parked the van in parks. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear, pretend that I am having a heart attack; You must get the van safel...	rockylizard	0	792	04:42 PM Jan 8, 2013 by rockylizard
	Missed out again (Preview) *She's single...* *She lives right across the street.* *I can see her house from my living room.* *I watched as she got home from work this evening.* *I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.* *She knocked on my door...* *I rushed to open it.* *She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, a...*	Kev-Maz	0	772	03:56 AM Jan 8, 2013 by Kev-Maz
	The Outhouse (Preview) DO YOU THINK THE CHILDREN OF TODAY HAVE IT TOO EASY? *Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out,* *"Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"* *Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."* *Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out...*	spida	1	844	06:00 PM Jan 6, 2013 by sucastja
	ONLY THE IRISH! (Preview) As only the Irish can tell a story!!!!!! Enjoy. Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all beenable to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on th...	justcruisin01	0	841	10:14 PM Jan 5, 2013 by justcruisin01
	Exercise for people over 50.... (Preview) EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50 Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kgpotato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that yo...	Big Gorilla	3	931	09:15 PM Jan 5, 2013 by nomadic1
	Texting for Seniors (Preview) Texting codes for seniorsor us old farts with mobiles Young people have theirs, now us Seniors can have our own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizen...	DandS	5	898	04:58 PM Jan 5, 2013 by mongrel
	Meeting Mum (Preview) A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the ga...	rockylizard	1	943	07:47 AM Jan 4, 2013 by dazren
	Have a chuckle folks .. heh ! (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujwod-vqyqA	biggles	0	765	02:16 PM Jan 3, 2013 by biggles
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