Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

----- LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fasc...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

TWENTY DOLLARS On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked For $20.00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily agreed.This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for more than 40 years, with h...

rosco · rosco

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The w...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A Polite Way to Pee During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her Students Teacher : "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how Would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael : "Just a minute I have to go pee...

Fairy-Nuff · Fairy-Nuff

Dont fart in Harrods. A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and...

Fairy-Nuff · Fairy-Nuff

Quickie in the Bushes. There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when, one day, an angel comes down from the heavens and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a rewa...

goinsoon · goinsoon

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" Ge...

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

> SEX PENSION Two men were talking. > > 'So, how's your sex life?' > > 'Oh, nothing special. > > I'm having Pension sex.' > > 'Pension sex?' > > 'Yeah, you know; > > I get a little each month, > > But not enough to live on!' > > > > LOUD S...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Baptising An Irishman An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes Upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, Where upon...

goinsoon · goinsoon

One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants. The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?" Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there." "Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the t...

Peterpan · Peterpan

RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the middle east. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is send...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An Arab and a Genie An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahea...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.Four worms were placed into four separate jars.The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.The third worm was put into a container of chocolate...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit...

Dave83 · Dave83

A little girl asked her Mum, Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mum replies, No, because she is in heat. Whats that mean? asked the child. Go ask your father. I think hes in the garage. ... The little girl goes to the garage and says, Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mum...

old briney · old briney

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Fina...

old briney · old briney

Two Queensland Police Officers were chasing a Camaro south on Highway 1 toward Tweed Heads. When the suspect crossed the NSW border, the first officer pulled over quickly. The rookie officer pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always...

thommo · thommo

-- Edited by thommo on Tuesday 1st of November 2011 12:29:35 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	LITTLE JOHNNY; (Preview) ----- LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fasc...	justcruisin01	4	785	08:59 PM Nov 13, 2011 by goinsoon
	20$ (Preview) *TWENTY DOLLARS* *On their wedding night, the young bride* approached her new husband and asked *For $20.00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily agreed.This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for more than 40 years, with h...***	oldrtvute	0	606	12:57 PM Nov 13, 2011 by oldrtvute
	First date (Preview) If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The w...	rosco	1	1006	12:04 PM Nov 13, 2011 by jimbo
	MANNERS; (Preview) A Polite Way to Pee During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her Students Teacher : "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how Would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael : "Just a minute I have to go pee...	justcruisin01	1	781	08:39 AM Nov 13, 2011 by jules47
	Don't fart in Harrods (Preview) Dont fart in Harrods. A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and...	Fairy-Nuff	1	823	08:32 PM Nov 12, 2011 by animalcarer
	Quickie in the bush (Preview) Quickie in the Bushes. There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when, one day, an angel comes down from the heavens and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a rewa...	Fairy-Nuff	0	770	08:41 PM Nov 11, 2011 by Fairy-Nuff
	ANOTHER PEE JOKE (Preview) 70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" Ge...	goinsoon	0	743	09:01 PM Nov 10, 2011 by goinsoon
	sex (Preview) > SEX PENSION Two men were talking. > > 'So, how's your sex life?' > > 'Oh, nothing special. > > I'm having Pension sex.' > > 'Pension sex?' > > 'Yeah, you know; > > I get a little each month, > > But not enough to live on!' > > > > LOUD S...	Cowboy7307	0	1075	03:26 PM Nov 9, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	THE IRISH; (Preview) Baptising An Irishman An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes Upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, Where upon...	justcruisin01	1	807	07:42 PM Nov 6, 2011 by goinsoon
	ANOTHER JOHNNY (Preview) One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants. The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?" Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there." "Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the t...	goinsoon	0	692	07:41 PM Nov 6, 2011 by goinsoon
	Retired Husband (Preview) RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...	Peterpan	0	932	09:13 AM Nov 6, 2011 by Peterpan
	our way of helping (Preview) A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the middle east. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is send...	Zoomtopz	0	759	09:30 PM Nov 4, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	AN ARAB & A GENIE; (Preview) An Arab and a Genie An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahea...	justcruisin01	0	688	02:54 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	WORMS (Preview) A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.Four worms were placed into four separate jars.The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.The third worm was put into a container of chocolate...	justcruisin01	0	824	02:53 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	TALK TIME (Preview) A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit...	justcruisin01	0	577	02:50 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Walking the dog (Preview) A little girl asked her Mum, Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mum replies, No, because she is in heat. Whats that mean? asked the child. Go ask your father. I think hes in the garage. ... The little girl goes to the garage and says, Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mum...	Dave83	0	510	01:36 PM Nov 4, 2011 by Dave83
	Cop wants an excuse (Preview) A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Fina...	old briney	2	852	02:40 PM Nov 3, 2011 by JRH
	Police Chase (Preview) Two Queensland Police Officers were chasing a Camaro south on Highway 1 toward Tweed Heads. When the suspect crossed the NSW border, the first officer pulled over quickly. The rookie officer pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "...	old briney	0	577	11:30 AM Nov 3, 2011 by old briney
	RECOMMENDATION; (Preview) LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always...	justcruisin01	1	881	09:41 PM Nov 1, 2011 by Pam
	Hmm!! (Preview) -- Edited by thommo on Tuesday 1st of November 2011 12:29:35 PM	thommo	0	523	12:28 PM Nov 1, 2011 by thommo
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