Just Joking

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Had to get some new 'grundies' th other day. Got home opened th 5pack up to put in 'grundies' draw . One of them was a 'Meatloaf' pair Yeah .... honetly On the front it read I will do anything for love on th back But I won't do that. Richo

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

On their way to get married, a young Roman Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While anxiously waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? W...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An old drover named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote stock route in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW 4WD advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I...

Cupie · Cupie

Old Timers Bar Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, '...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

For all my fellow travellers: MY SATNAV I have a little Satnav It sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver's friend It tells you where you are I have a little Satnav I've had it all my life It does more than the normal one My Satnav is my wife It gives me full instructions On exactly how to drive "It's th...

Peterpan · Peterpan

Women like silent men, they think they are listening.

hammer · hammer

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Schooner of New" The robot brings back the best beer ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The...

hammer · hammer

A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. 'You are all part of our team now', said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. 'You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees'. The cannibals promised th...

bill12 · bill12

Grey nomad is in a bar and sees a nice lady about the same age. "would you like a glass " he says. "yes" she says. "I need one toput my teeth in!" Loa. Bill

hammer · hammer

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight...

barina · barina

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts &qu...

jimbo · jimbo

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a wo...

barina · barina

While creating women, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. And then He smiled and made the earth round

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

I was at a show over th w/end . This bloke had seven blokes hypnotised . Had them doing all sorts of Weird & funny thingo's He dropped his microphone . Said ---- me!!! What happened next , will stay with me for th rest of my life. Richo

barina · barina

A BLOKE SAT IN HIS ARMCHAIR AND SHOUTS TO HIS WIFE, "WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU LOVE!" SHE SHOUTS BACK, "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY B*****D!!"

gerard gue · gerard gue

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the coun...

barina · barina

An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really...

gerard gue · gerard gue

barina · barina

It was entertainment night at the local Senior Citizens Centre. Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Grundies (Preview) Had to get some new 'grundies' th other day. Got home opened th 5pack up to put in 'grundies' draw . One of them was a 'Meatloaf' pair Yeah .... honetly On the front it read I will do anything for love on th back But I won't do that. Richo	Zoomtopz	0	676	01:42 PM May 27, 2012 by Zoomtopz
	GETTING MARRIED; (Preview) On their way to get married, a young Roman Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While anxiously waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? W...	justcruisin01	0	830	02:31 AM May 26, 2012 by justcruisin01
	PICKLE SLICER; (Preview) Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it...	justcruisin01	0	792	02:30 AM May 26, 2012 by justcruisin01
	SO TRUE; (Preview) An old drover named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote stock route in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW 4WD advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I...	justcruisin01	1	1023	04:56 AM May 26, 2012 by Travel Bug
	Grey Nomads (Preview) Old Timers Bar Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, '...	Cupie	2	1123	06:40 AM May 25, 2012 by Cruising Granny
	MY SATNAV (Preview) For all my fellow travellers: MY SATNAV I have a little Satnav It sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver's friend It tells you where you are I have a little Satnav I've had it all my life It does more than the normal one My Satnav is my wife It gives me full instructions On exactly how to drive "It's th...	Cruising Granny	0	805	11:26 PM May 23, 2012 by Cruising Granny
	I am being brave. (Preview) Women like silent men, they think they are listening.	Peterpan	2	884	11:58 PM May 23, 2012 by bill12
	Best Bar Joke ever (Preview) Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Schooner of New" The robot brings back the best beer ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The...	hammer	4	1436	11:34 PM May 23, 2012 by Comebak-Wilson
	The Admin Chick (Preview) A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. 'You are all part of our team now', said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. 'You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees'. The cannibals promised th...	hammer	1	914	11:29 PM May 23, 2012 by Cruising Granny
	grey nomad pick up line. (Preview) Grey nomad is in a bar and sees a nice lady about the same age. "would you like a glass " he says. "yes" she says. "I need one toput my teeth in!" Loa. Bill	bill12	1	1045	05:26 AM May 22, 2012 by Travel Bug
	This is your Captain speaking (Preview) Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight...	hammer	0	800	03:08 AM May 19, 2012 by hammer
	to be sure (Preview) Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts &qu...	barina	0	844	02:56 AM May 18, 2012 by barina
	Happy Life! If only. (Preview) FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a wo...	jimbo	0	785	08:22 PM May 16, 2012 by jimbo
	Design mishap (Preview) *While creating women, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.* *And then He smiled and made the earth round*	barina	0	786	04:20 AM May 16, 2012 by barina
	Another Hypnotist (Preview) I was at a show over th w/end . This bloke had seven blokes hypnotised . Had them doing all sorts of Weird & funny thingo's He dropped his microphone . Said ---- me!!! What happened next , will stay with me for th rest of my life. Richo	Zoomtopz	0	603	10:32 PM May 15, 2012 by Zoomtopz
	I bequeath you!!!!!!! (Preview) A BLOKE SAT IN HIS ARMCHAIR AND SHOUTS TO HIS WIFE, "WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU LOVE!" SHE SHOUTS BACK, "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY B*****D!!"	barina	0	776	02:57 AM May 15, 2012 by barina
	SPREAD THE STUPIDITY (Preview) Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the coun...	gerard gue	0	897	02:33 AM May 15, 2012 by gerard gue
	A Lecture!!!! (Preview) An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really...	barina	0	836	03:36 AM May 13, 2012 by barina
	special breed of dogs indeed !!!!! (Preview)	gerard gue	1	707	04:13 PM May 12, 2012 by kandagal
	The Hypnotist..... (Preview) It was entertainment night at the local Senior Citizens Centre. Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch...	barina	1	781	09:00 PM May 11, 2012 by jimbo
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