|
HAVE YOU EVER
(Preview)
She greeted him at the door dressed only in her "special occasion" bra and panties: "Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife. "No," said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out...
|
sarg
|
2
|
805
|
|
|
|
|
Love in a cardboard box
(Preview)
|
HOOK
|
4
|
1646
|
|
|
|
|
DRINK DRIVING
(Preview)
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red wine. Knowing ful...
|
sarg
|
2
|
733
|
|
|
|
|
RETIREMENT
(Preview)
----- Someone asked me what I do since I have retired.... Do I have a job? I replied, I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple. My wife told me that when she wants my f -----g advice, she'll ask me f...
|
sarg
|
2
|
837
|
|
|
|
|
Seeing is Believing
(Preview)
|
GaryKelly
|
2
|
839
|
|
|
|
|
Interesting!
(Preview)
Seen on the rear of a truck recently, Camouflage condoms: They'll never see you coming.
|
Magnarc
|
1
|
745
|
|
|
|
|
Definitions
(Preview)
Should be in the dictionary as stated ..... These fit so well they should be in a dictionary. ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends And is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and when they are d...
|
Hoodathunkit
|
1
|
757
|
|
|
|
|
THE WOODEN BALL.
(Preview)
An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut,But he tells the barber he probably can't get all of his whiskers offbecause his cheeks are wrinkled from age.The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tellshim to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.When he's...
|
sarg
|
1
|
768
|
|
|
|
|
POOR CHARLIE
(Preview)
Poor Charlie. We lost him last week. Charlie had a bad stutter but a shrink explained to him that if he changed his lifestyle and ensured that he maintained a calm demeanour through everything he did, his stuttering would reduce, perhaps even go. Charlie had paid a lot of money to get the advice, so he to...
|
Chazza
|
0
|
655
|
|
|
|
|
TRICK CYCLISTS...
(Preview)
Two psychiatrists meet in the street. One says to the other, "You're well, how am I...?"
|
Chazza
|
0
|
652
|
|
|
|
|
The biter bit?
(Preview)
A devout middle eastern gentleman entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to the music because, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of...
|
Magnarc
|
3
|
678
|
|
|
|
|
dorothy dix
(Preview)
Dear Dorothy Dix My partner has a long record of money problems. She runs up hugecredit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off,she shouts at me, saying I am stealing her money. She says pay the minimumand let the next lot worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keepup wit...
|
dazren
|
0
|
716
|
|
|
|
|
DONT COUGH
(Preview)
A chemist walks back into his shop after a short break and sees a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant "He came in for cough syrup but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives" replied the assistant. "You f---...
|
sarg
|
1
|
768
|
|
|
|
|
GOLF WITH STEVIE WONDER
(Preview)
Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar... Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?" Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that fixed, now.&qu...
|
sarg
|
0
|
696
|
|
|
|
|
Test your IG.
(Preview)
To keep "aging" grey cells active!Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active! 1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May ...What was the third child's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher...
|
JayDee
|
0
|
766
|
|
|
|
|
SILLY DADDY
(Preview)
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why. She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.' The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to p...
|
sarg
|
0
|
775
|
|
|
|
|
A Prayer for Grandpa
(Preview)
Dear God, please send lots of clothes to all those poor ladies on grandad's computer. Amen.
|
GaryKelly
|
2
|
761
|
|
|
|
|
RACE DAY AT CUNNAMULLA
(Preview)
Race day at Cunnamulla. Crowds of people everywhere you look. A bloke pushes his way through the people around one of the bookies. "M-m-mate," he stutters, "I b-b-backed a f-f-five t-t-to..." "Go on, get out of the way will you?" the bookie responds. "Can't y...
|
Chazza
|
1
|
846
|
|
|
|
|
MUSIC
(Preview)
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...
|
sarg
|
1
|
666
|
|
|
|
|
Coffee with the Pope
(Preview)
*Coffee with the Pope* Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the pope at the Vatican.After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from '...
|
copper1
|
1
|
926
|
|
|
