|
My Will
(Preview)
I was sitting with the computer the other day drafting my will and I called out to my wife, "WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU, LOVE!" SHE SHOUTED BACK "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY BASTARD!!
|
Hurls
|
1
|
730
|
|
|
|
|
BLONDE GENIES;
(Preview)
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET BLONDE GENIES? A WHITE GUY IS WALKING ALONG SOUTHEND BEACH WHEN HE COMESACROSS A LAMP PARTIALLY BURIED IN THE SAND.HE PICKS UP THE LAMP AND GIVES IT A RUB.. TWO BLONDE GENIES APPEAR, AND THEY TELL HIM HE HAS BEEN GRANTED THREE WISHES. THE GUY MAKES HIS THREE WISHES AND THE BLOND...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
859
|
|
|
|
|
CHRISTMAS DAY GOLF;
(Preview)
Speddo CHRISTMAS DAYFour old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in said, "Let's do it! We'l...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
914
|
|
|
|
|
SPLINTERS
(Preview)
Splinters ! A woman who was a tree hugging greenie purchased a piece of forest near Collie, WA. There was a large tree in one of the highest parts of her forest. She wanted a good view of the natural splendour of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted ow...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
785
|
|
|
|
|
A blond joke
(Preview)
Two blondes standing on a river bank one each side of the river,one yells to the other HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE ,the other one yells back YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE. Lance C
|
Olley46
|
0
|
595
|
|
|
|
|
Backseat cooking
(Preview)
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we goi...
|
D and D
|
2
|
702
|
|
|
|
|
Baby boy
(Preview)
|
Rip and Rosie
|
1
|
731
|
|
|
|
|
TARZAN
(Preview)
I was at the store yesterday, and I ran into Tarzan! (I often see Elvis on the checkout but he was on a break)I asked Tarzan how he was going andIf he was making any more movies. He told me, "me no longer make movies,Me have severe arthritis, both shoulders And not swing from vine to tree...
|
sarg
|
0
|
781
|
|
|
|
|
Music
(Preview)
The other day I thought I could hear music, it must of been the band around my hat. lance C
|
Olley46
|
1
|
748
|
|
|
|
|
Adult Scrabble
(Preview)
Adult Scrabble Re-arrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect. P N E S I People who wrote SPINE became doctors... The rest are all my e-mail friends...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
708
|
|
|
|
|
Ashes
(Preview)
An elderly lady recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him........ "You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bo...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
652
|
|
|
|
|
No Words Needed!!
(Preview)
|
Hurls
|
0
|
595
|
|
|
|
|
Maybe Next Time!
(Preview)
Little boy gets home from school and says, "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years." His Dad replies, "Never mind Son maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"
|
Hurls
|
0
|
682
|
|
|
|
|
Brit Humour
(Preview)
Brit Humour Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to f...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
840
|
|
|
|
|
Conundrum
(Preview)
CONUNDRUM Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning; "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back; "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it." Wife texts back 5 minutes later; "Computer really f***ed now."
|
Hurls
|
1
|
616
|
|
|
|
|
The Two Gifts
(Preview)
I hope this has not been posted before is so I apologise to the poster. When God created Adam and Eve, He said: I only have two gifts: One is the art of peeing standing ... And then Adam stepped forward and shouted: ME!, ME!, ME!, I would love it please ... Lord, please, please! Look, it will make my life su...
|
Ginger
|
2
|
845
|
|
|
|
|
Kodak moment - Best viewed on full screen!
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lncwRnV4Gsg -- Edited by petengail on Saturday 23rd of November 2013 10:19:04 AM
|
petengail
|
1
|
772
|
|
|
|
|
Exercise for Older Folk
(Preview)
|
Hurls
|
2
|
668
|
|
|
|
|
The Pastor's Ass
(Preview)
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won !! The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the next race, and it won that race too. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in a...
|
sarg
|
4
|
1772
|
|
|
|
|
Life Savers
(Preview)
I don't claim to know too much about Life Saving... But if anybody is going to bring this guy back to life My money is on the girl on the right!! Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
|
Hurls
|
2
|
1342
|
|
|
