|
The Backing of The Van
(Preview)
Backing The Van All around this wide brown country there are delights you all should knowand to see it all should be a lasting plan.I've seen a few weird things myself but the best Ive every seenis when a poor old nomad tries to back his van. No matter where you strike them from the Cape to Hobart to...
|
Eagle
|
0
|
771
|
|
|
|
|
A BRAVE MAN
(Preview)
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.' He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.' Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?' ...
|
sarg
|
0
|
605
|
|
|
|
|
Little Billy
(Preview)
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?' Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement...
|
sarg
|
0
|
644
|
|
|
|
|
Italian Mistress
(Preview)
A Jewish Italian husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant, when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that...
|
reglynn
|
0
|
629
|
|
|
|
|
New Panties
(Preview)
Kathy buys a pair of crotchless panties, in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirtand sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments, she uncrosses her legs enough times, that her husband finally asks, "Are you wearing crotchless...
|
reglynn
|
0
|
621
|
|
|
|
|
Two Blondes With Hammers...
(Preview)
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, Why are you throwing thos...
|
reglynn
|
0
|
616
|
|
|
|
|
Itchy Parts
(Preview)
A female dwarf goes to a doctor complainingof an embarrassing itch in the groin area. The doctor looks her up and down, picks her upand stands her on his desk. He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under.A little perplexed, she hears, snip, snip, snip, snip. The doctor emerges from under her skirt.&q...
|
reglynn
|
0
|
724
|
|
|
|
|
An Irish Burial at Sea
(Preview)
Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat. After a while Mick...
|
reglynn
|
0
|
635
|
|
|
|
|
Punography
(Preview)
PUNOGRAPHY I tried to catch some fog. I mist. ·When chemists die, they barium. ·Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. ·A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. ·I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. ·How does Moses make his tea?...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
634
|
|
|
|
|
David returned to Italy
(Preview)
A bit of cultural news for a change After a two year loan to the United States, Michelangelo's David is being returned to Italy His proud sponsors were
|
Hurls
|
0
|
581
|
|
|
|
|
Helpful Husband
(Preview)
On Friday, A hooded robber burst into a bank and, at gunpoint, forced the tellers to load their cash into a plain brown bag As the robber approached the door, one brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber's face. Without a moment's hesitation, the robber shot the customer...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
655
|
|
|
|
|
Plastic Surgery
(Preview)
A middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her body shape improved and some flab removed to improve her looks, over the years she had put on weight in various places and her arms and other bitshad become loose and flabby. She insisted that the surgery be kept secret as she d...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
668
|
|
|
|
|
Scrod
(Preview)
A traveller, who is a huge fan of seafood, arrives in Boston for the first time. He leaves the airport and hails a cab. After he gets in, he excitedly says to the cabbie, "Hey, I'm new in town. Can you tell me a good place to go to get scrod?" The cabbie, who is an out-of-work English teacher, repl...
|
dorian
|
4
|
991
|
|
|
|
|
Mental Age Assessment....
(Preview)
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 60 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is how cat. 4. This is to cat...
|
Vic41
|
5
|
691
|
|
|
|
|
And then the War started
(Preview)
HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.When she asked me why, I replied,"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"And that's how the fight started.....__________...
|
rosco532
|
0
|
661
|
|
|
|
|
Oxymorons
(Preview)
O x y m o r o n s 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand On the watch Called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, How would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, Where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack...
|
Vic41
|
1
|
843
|
|
|
|
|
Ten Thinks I Know About You
(Preview)
1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You cant say the letter P without separating your lips. 4) You just attempted to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5. 8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5. 9) You laugh at this because you are a fun lovi...
|
Hendo
|
1
|
650
|
|
|
|
|
Toilet sign
(Preview)
|
spida
|
1
|
678
|
|
|
|
|
Einstein ! Did you know this ????
(Preview)
Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be nearly 132 if he were alive today. Few people remember that he married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919. At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa "because she was so well endowed". He postulate...
|
Vic41
|
6
|
882
|
|
|
|
|
Should I join Facebook?
(Preview)
A good laugh for people in the over 60 group !!! When I bought my Smart Phone, I thought about the 20-year business I ran all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my kids, their...
|
spida
|
2
|
756
|
|
|
