|
Why We Love Children
(Preview)
1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil. 'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently. 'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise. 'You know,' explained the boy, 'I l...
|
D and D
|
1
|
754
|
|
|
|
|
Elevator
(Preview)
Today I was beaten up by a woman...I was in the elevator when this busty young lady got in. Naturally, I was staring at her boobs, when she said, Would you please press 1..?So I did. I don't remember much after that....Should be out of the hospital in 4 - 6 weeks.
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
688
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Mum
(Preview)
A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum'. With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling h...
|
copper1
|
0
|
609
|
|
|
|
|
50 sheds of grey for males
(Preview)
The novel Fifty Shades Of Grey has seduced women and baffled blokes. Now, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... · Fifty Sheds Of Grey We tried various positions ro...
|
Baz421
|
0
|
699
|
|
|
|
|
Hot Day!!
(Preview)
Came across this icecream truck on a very hot day!
|
bloomoon
|
3
|
670
|
|
|
|
|
Soldier Assistance
(Preview)
Finding a woman sobbing after she had locked her keys in her car,a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers... Rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens....... "That's so clever,...
|
sarg
|
1
|
583
|
|
|
|
|
Health Warning
(Preview)
DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!! It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!! IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!! Shampoo Warning! I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my...
|
copper1
|
2
|
728
|
|
|
|
|
Walking on Water
(Preview)
Walking On WaterAs only the Irish can tell a story!!!!! Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.It seems that his father, grandfather and great- grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.On that special day, theyd each walked across the lake to the...
|
copper1
|
1
|
687
|
|
|
|
|
More from US Courts - must be alaugh a minute ther sometimes
(Preview)
Q: Are you sexually active?A: No, I just lie there.========Q: What is your date of birth?A: July fifteenth.Q: What year?A: Every year.========Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.========Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?A: Ye...
|
Baz421
|
0
|
506
|
|
|
|
|
A couple of funnies from the US Court system - can u relate to them????
(Preview)
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?A: No.Q: Did you check for blood pressure?A: No.Q: Did you check for breathing?A: No.Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began theautopsy?A: No.Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?A: Because his brain was si...
|
Baz421
|
0
|
603
|
|
|
|
|
Get Out of the Car!
(Preview)
|
sucastja
|
0
|
682
|
|
|
|
|
Hanging with Blondes
(Preview)
Hanging with BlondesThere were nine blondes and a brunette hanging of a rope 100 stories high. They had decided that one of them had to get off. They argued and argued and finally the brunette said ''I'll go.''The brunette made a touching speech and all the blondes clapped.
|
copper1
|
0
|
683
|
|
|
|
|
I'M NOT OLD
(Preview)
|
copper1
|
2
|
759
|
|
|
|
|
Gardening
(Preview)
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red? Th...
|
Hurls
|
3
|
625
|
|
|
|
|
BLONDE PILOT;
(Preview)
This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies.She, frantic, calls out a May Day. "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me!My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don'tknow how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"She hears a voic...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
807
|
|
|
|
|
Racism or not!!!
(Preview)
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Guinness ?"The shop assistant asks, "Are you Irish ?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, if I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian ? Or if I had asked for...
|
barina
|
1
|
726
|
|
|
|
|
THE FUNERAL;
(Preview)
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life... A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service As all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the c...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
555
|
|
|
|
|
Judgement for the Plaintiff
(Preview)
Judgment for the Plaintiff!!! A Well-Argued Court Case The beauty of a language and the art of constructing the words of the language significantly lead to their meaning. This is not a case of twisting, but of the refined manner of presentation by witty minds. A good case for reference. One evenin...
|
spida
|
0
|
1095
|
|
|
|
|
Adult Scrabble
(Preview)
Adult Scrabble Re-arrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect. P N E S I People who wrote SPINE became doctors... The rest are all my e-mail friends...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
569
|
|
|
|
|
Marriage
(Preview)
Mary and her husband Tom went for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Mary went into a passionate, painful tirade - listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: the neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, lone...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
668
|
|
|
