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Oxymorons
(Preview)
O x y m o r o n s 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand On the watch Called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, How would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, Where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack...
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Vic41
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1
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762
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Ten Thinks I Know About You
(Preview)
1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You cant say the letter P without separating your lips. 4) You just attempted to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5. 8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5. 9) You laugh at this because you are a fun lovi...
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Hendo
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1
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593
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Toilet sign
(Preview)
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spida
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1
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603
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Einstein ! Did you know this ????
(Preview)
Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be nearly 132 if he were alive today. Few people remember that he married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919. At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa "because she was so well endowed". He postulate...
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Vic41
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6
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805
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Should I join Facebook?
(Preview)
A good laugh for people in the over 60 group !!! When I bought my Smart Phone, I thought about the 20-year business I ran all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my kids, their...
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spida
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2
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714
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It may offend some!
(Preview)
Drunk Request A man gets up one morning to find his wife in the kitchen cooking, he looks to see what she's cooking, and sees one of his socks in frying pan. "What are you doing?" he asks. "I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk," she replied. Compl...
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Hendo
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0
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551
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Use the Force
(Preview)
Luke Skywalker and Master Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant in Alderaan having a meal. Obi-Wan is deftly manipulating his chopsticks with the ease you'd expect from a Jedi Master. Anyway, poor Luke is having a nightmare, using his chop-sticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and...
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dorian
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2
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612
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Barbie Girl
(Preview)
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=613874842018459&set=vb.388525541220058&type=2&theater
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Ontos45
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0
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607
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I not neber bin a interlecteal
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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3
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686
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A QUANTAS FLIGHT ATTENDANT;
(Preview)
A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told h...
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justcruisin01
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0
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883
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member recognition'
(Preview)
Member Recognition :) One morning three women are golfing on the fourth green when suddenly a guy runs by wearing nothing but a bag over his head. As he passes by the first woman, she looks down and says, Well, hes certainly not my husband. As he passes by the second woman, she also glances downw...
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justcruisin01
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0
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596
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How To Turn No 1 Into No 2.....
(Preview)
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Vic41
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4
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806
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Accident
(Preview)
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?. He's fully recovered..
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rockylizard
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0
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637
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Colours
(Preview)
This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is funny. What a great sense of humour... And creative!!!When U Black, U Black When I was born, I was BLACK, When I grew up, I was BLACK, When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK, When I got cold, I was BLACK, When I was scared, I was BLACK, When I was sick, I was BLA...
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Hurls
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0
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713
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Quick Thinking
(Preview)
Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick LAWRENCE, a 22 year old male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), LAWRENCE was charged with lewd and...
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Hurls
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0
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684
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A Puddle
(Preview)
A farmer see's a man drinkin fae a puddle and says "Dinnay drink oot o that, it's foo o coos ****" The man says' "Sorry I'm English - Could you speak English please. "Aye .. Use both hands old chap .. you can get a little more in your mouth"
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Maggie and Alex
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0
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616
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The Value of a Drink
(Preview)
Some old some new 'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and thinkabout the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be outof work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to ...
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Hurls
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1
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1195
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magic mirror
(Preview)
Wife came home from a garage sale and excitedly told her husband she had bought a magic mirror. Bull dust! was his reaction. She said no, watch this, she stood in front of the mirror and said " mirror, mirror on the wall make my bust size forty four." Woosh, and she had the best looking breast h...
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Hendo
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1
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744
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DO YOU KNOW JESUS
(Preview)
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch; sit with the workers; and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to t...
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sarg
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2
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747
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Aging Optimism
(Preview)
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Vic41
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3
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824
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