|
Conundrum
(Preview)
CONUNDRUM Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning; "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back; "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it." Wife texts back 5 minutes later; "Computer really f***ed now."
|
Hurls
|
1
|
541
|
|
|
|
|
The Two Gifts
(Preview)
I hope this has not been posted before is so I apologise to the poster. When God created Adam and Eve, He said: I only have two gifts: One is the art of peeing standing ... And then Adam stepped forward and shouted: ME!, ME!, ME!, I would love it please ... Lord, please, please! Look, it will make my life su...
|
Ginger
|
2
|
761
|
|
|
|
|
Kodak moment - Best viewed on full screen!
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lncwRnV4Gsg -- Edited by petengail on Saturday 23rd of November 2013 10:19:04 AM
|
petengail
|
1
|
685
|
|
|
|
|
Exercise for Older Folk
(Preview)
|
Hurls
|
2
|
592
|
|
|
|
|
The Pastor's Ass
(Preview)
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won !! The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the next race, and it won that race too. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in a...
|
sarg
|
4
|
1566
|
|
|
|
|
Life Savers
(Preview)
I don't claim to know too much about Life Saving... But if anybody is going to bring this guy back to life My money is on the girl on the right!! Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
|
Hurls
|
2
|
1196
|
|
|
|
|
Mounted Policeman
(Preview)
Use the Tazer, Mick. Use the Taser, Mick. For God's Mick use the F*****G Tazer!!!
|
Hurls
|
0
|
1030
|
|
|
|
|
Well Fed
(Preview)
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the River Thames in London . The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.' 'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?' '...
|
copper1
|
1
|
710
|
|
|
|
|
I WILL BE OK.
(Preview)
Today I was beaten up by a woman...! I was in the elevator when a busty lady got in. I was staring at her boobs, when she said, would you please press 1.. So I did. I don't remember much afterwards....
|
sarg
|
0
|
587
|
|
|
|
|
Exchange Rate
(Preview)
An Asian woman goes in to her local National Australia Bank Branch and begins exchanging her money. After the transaction is complete she asks the teller 'Why it change, yesterday I get two hunat dollar for my money, today I only get hunat eighty?' The teller looked over his glasses and says very slowl...
|
copper1
|
1
|
581
|
|
|
|
|
MAKES ME PROUD TO BE AN AUSSIE
(Preview)
'Hello, is this the police?' 'Yes it is. How can we help you?' 'I'm calling to report about my neighbour, Wazza. He's hiding Cocaine inside his firewood!' 'Thank you very much for the call.' The next day, police officers descend on Wazza's house in great numbers. They search the house and then go out to...
|
copper1
|
2
|
805
|
|
|
|
|
Late Night Lecture
(Preview)
An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 AM and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
1168
|
|
|
|
|
Home Remedies
(Preview)
THESE REALLY WORK!! AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPL...
|
Ontos45
|
1
|
1090
|
|
|
|
|
Clever wordsmithing
(Preview)
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.Here are the winners:1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject fin...
|
Joe50
|
1
|
774
|
|
|
|
|
Class Test
(Preview)
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first year schoolchildren, using a bowl of Fruit Loops, the sweet with the hole in it. He gave all the children the same kind of loop, one at a time, and asked them to identify them by colour and flavour. The children began to say: Red..............
|
copper1
|
0
|
558
|
|
|
|
|
CATHOLIC SHAMPOO...
(Preview)
Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cold beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?" The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, Sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am...
|
sarg
|
0
|
707
|
|
|
|
|
Keep the Motor Running
(Preview)
The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, This is amazing. How do you do it at y...
|
copper1
|
0
|
555
|
|
|
|
|
Mental Health Test
(Preview)
For all excited people. hope it works
|
copper1
|
5
|
971
|
|
|
|
|
Personal Add
(Preview)
A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME & MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day, she heard...
|
copper1
|
1
|
736
|
|
|
|
|
Small Penis
(Preview)
A young couple took their two-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that, although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him panca...
|
copper1
|
0
|
859
|
|
|
