Just Joking

Hurls · Hurls

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. Sh...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be ther...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients and I'll give you fifty bucks." "Yes, si...

Hurls · Hurls

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,&q...

Hurls · Hurls

Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...

Hurls · Hurls

*Two Woodpeckers* This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. T The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...

Jonathan · Jonathan

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of redhead matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk .. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. -- Edited by Jonathan on Tuesday 3rd of December 2013 08:15:16 PM

sarg · sarg

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took out an...

sarg · sarg

Edinburgh man Wullie McTavish is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with the nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Braid Hills houses." "Sybil, take the flats over in Morningside and Bruntsfield." &quo...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

BEAR INTERRUPTS PHOTO SHOOT Bloody dangerous place Canada... the bears are huge and very curious...see what happens when a huge brown bear decides to take a closer look at a film shoot for a washing machine... http://www.youtube.com/embed/eryxAcsTcOA?rel=0 Guns.

Hurls · Hurls

IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. (This was just a test!) Ten (10) Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can'...

D and D · D and D

http://youtu.be/ctJJrBw7e-c

sarg · sarg

Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows. 'Thirty euros,' she whispers. Paddy had never been with a hooker before, but decides well why not, it's only thirty euros.So they hid in the bushes. They're go...

sarg · sarg

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 h...

sarg · sarg

The Navy f...

sarg · sarg

Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow'. "Ooh!" said the presenter, "This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good con...

copper1 · copper1

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. 'Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wif...

gerard gue · gerard gue

OLD is when.... Scotch with 2 drops of water? A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'l...

bridget · bridget

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM WOOLWORTHS Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her th...

sarg · sarg

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirates outf...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Barter - Aussie Style (Preview) This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. Sh...	Hurls	1	608	01:13 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	IRISH BIRTH CONTROL; (Preview) Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be ther...	justcruisin01	0	796	08:06 PM Dec 3, 2013 by justcruisin01
	DOCTOR DOCTOR! (Preview) A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients and I'll give you fifty bucks." "Yes, si...	justcruisin01	0	610	08:04 PM Dec 3, 2013 by justcruisin01
	Married 4 Times (Preview) The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,&q...	Hurls	0	542	02:48 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Hurls
	Resetting your password (Preview) Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...	Hurls	0	538	02:47 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Hurls
	Two Wooodpeckers (Preview) Two Woodpeckers This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. T The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...	Hurls	0	447	02:45 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Hurls
	light up your life .. (Preview) My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of redhead matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk .. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. -- Edited by Jonathan on Tuesday 3rd of December 2013 08:15:16 PM	Jonathan	0	519	08:09 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Jonathan
	PADDY IS BACK (Preview) Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took out an...	sarg	0	585	12:06 PM Dec 2, 2013 by sarg
	Wullie McTavish (Preview) Edinburgh man Wullie McTavish is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with the nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Braid Hills houses." "Sybil, take the flats over in Morningside and Bruntsfield." &quo...	sarg	0	944	11:50 AM Dec 2, 2013 by sarg
	BEAR INTERRUPTS PHOTO SHOOT (Preview) BEAR INTERRUPTS PHOTO SHOOT Bloody dangerous place Canada... the bears are huge and very curious...see what happens when a huge brown bear decides to take a closer look at a film shoot for a washing machine... http://www.youtube.com/embed/eryxAcsTcOA?rel=0 Guns.	Gunsondeck	3	1669	07:21 PM Dec 2, 2013 by bill12
	Impossibilities in the World (Preview) IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. (This was just a test!) Ten (10) Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can'...	Hurls	3	847	07:12 PM Dec 2, 2013 by Nelly
	Cat's and Water ... need I say more? (Preview) http://youtu.be/ctJJrBw7e-c	D and D	1	956	09:31 AM Dec 1, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Paddy's at it again.. (Preview) Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows. 'Thirty euros,' she whispers. Paddy had never been with a hooker before, but decides well why not, it's only thirty euros.So they hid in the bushes. They're go...	sarg	1	728	04:35 PM Nov 30, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Pastor's false teeth (Preview) A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 h...	sarg	0	667	08:22 AM Nov 30, 2013 by sarg
	RETIREMENT BONUS (Preview) The Navy f...	sarg	0	832	08:11 AM Nov 30, 2013 by sarg
	PADDY.......... (Preview) Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow'. "Ooh!" said the presenter, "This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good con...	sarg	0	565	03:37 PM Nov 29, 2013 by sarg
	Snoring (Preview) A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. 'Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wif...	copper1	6	932	11:28 PM Nov 29, 2013 by Bunkerbob
	OLD is when.... (Preview) OLD is when.... Scotch with 2 drops of water? A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'l...	gerard gue	0	675	12:01 PM Nov 29, 2013 by gerard gue
	only a male could think of this ... (Preview) I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM WOOLWORTHS Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her th...	bridget	3	717	05:53 PM Nov 29, 2013 by bridget
	GOLDEN SYRUP (Preview) A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirates outf...	sarg	2	791	10:35 AM Nov 29, 2013 by MA247
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