|
Golf Club Sign
(Preview)
This is an actual sign at a golf club in Scotland 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG. ALLOW OTHERS AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUI...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
1024
|
|
|
|
|
MY FIRST TIME
(Preview)
I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for.She was working as an as...
|
sarg
|
0
|
668
|
|
|
|
|
Wise Chinese Doctor
(Preview)
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it.. Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to li...
|
Vic41
|
2
|
1047
|
|
|
|
|
New CEO
(Preview)
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts And thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO...
|
Gunsondeck
|
1
|
697
|
|
|
|
|
That sounds Irish!
(Preview)
SIGN by the river Shannon:When this notice is under water it is unsafe to cross the river at this point. STERILITY is hereditary. If your parents and grandparents didnt have any children, the chances are you wont either. BRIDGET once entered a competition to predict the final score in an All-Irela...
|
BriVee
|
0
|
650
|
|
|
|
|
Mother's Milk
(Preview)
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula f...
|
sarg
|
0
|
672
|
|
|
|
|
Seniors Deodorant....
(Preview)
I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.
|
Vic41
|
0
|
1157
|
|
|
|
|
Bears
(Preview)
A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour. The bear remover arrived, and got out...
|
sarg
|
1
|
542
|
|
|
|
|
Perth In Summer...
(Preview)
You know you're in a Perth summer when:1. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance. 2. Hot water comes out of both taps. 3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. 4. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly. 5. You discover that i...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
585
|
|
|
|
|
London Flooding.
(Preview)
|
Vic41
|
0
|
563
|
|
|
|
|
The Makeover
(Preview)
The Makeover http://www.youtube.com/embed/tiAZ01dkcdc?feature=player_embedded
|
Gunsondeck
|
1
|
924
|
|
|
|
|
The Aisle, The Alter, The Hymn......
(Preview)
The Aisle, the Altar, the Hymn Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. ...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
776
|
|
|
|
|
Frog Loan.....
(Preview)
A frog goes into a bank andapproaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
731
|
|
|
|
|
Ex-missus
(Preview)
She always used to tell me how great she was at multi-tasking. I said, if that's so , how come she can't have sex & a headache at the same time? Maybe that's why I'm solo.
|
Rob49
|
1
|
685
|
|
|
|
|
Young Joseph!
(Preview)
THIS WAS VOTED THE BEST SHORT JOKE - For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out t...
|
jimbo
|
0
|
625
|
|
|
|
|
An oldie
(Preview)
How do you circumcise a whale? Send down four skin divers.
|
Rob49
|
0
|
689
|
|
|
|
|
Little Johnny Again..
(Preview)
Little Johnny Again A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with tor that ate things. The first little boy said,Alligator." Very good James, that's a big word." The second boy said,"Predator." Yes, that's another big word Alan. Very well done." L...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
666
|
|
|
|
|
Idiot Sightings....Don't got to Qld Wombat !!!
(Preview)
AUSTRALIAN IDIOT SIGHTINGS. IDIOT SIGHTING 1: I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note. Our total was $4.25...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
703
|
|
|
|
|
Little Johnny
(Preview)
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.&quo...
|
Hendo
|
0
|
535
|
|
|
|
|
Ha ha...
(Preview)
Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight.The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?"Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your plane! Aussie Paul.
|
aussie_paul
|
7
|
1012
|
|
|
