Just Joking

Vic41 · Vic41

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" "NO!" the children answere...

Hurls · Hurls

The Hookers Union A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?" "No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't." "Wel...

Hurls · Hurls

The hardest part of being a guide dog!

Hurls · Hurls

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blistery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing.' The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.' The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day the daughter was ridin...

2foot6 · 2foot6

A woman went to a pet shop and spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and som...

Hendo · Hendo

Ralph and Edna, madly in love, were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while walking hand in hand past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end, sank to the bottom and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out and save...

Vic41 · Vic41

Sound On.....click on; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WoM2bHfr48

rosco532 · rosco532

An elderly father found a vibrator in his daughters bedroom and asked her about it. She told him that she was 40 years of age, unmarried, hadn't had sex with a man and that she had to have a life! The next evening she came home to find her dad sitting with a whiskey dry in one hand and the vibrator in the other...

Hurls · Hurls

Psychiatrist vs. Bartender EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' sai...

spida · spida

A group of friends from the Cottonwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Jean to be the hosts, Jean wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But m...

sarg · sarg

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades u p from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.Then we'll talk about the car."...

Hurls · Hurls

Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife. Mongrel says, 'O...

Vic41 · Vic41

On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow ploughs can get through. "So...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Onions and Christmas Trees A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs. In her 20s, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s, 40s and 50's the...

nomadic1 · nomadic1

Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the o...

rosco532 · rosco532

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Yes, our grandmothers still had genuine knowledge of staying naturally healthy!!! My granny lectured me about her practical knowledge: For better digestion, I drink beer, for loss of appetite I drink white wine, with low blood pressure, red wine, with high blood pressure, cognac and whenever I ha...

Bunkerbob · Bunkerbob

Stopped at a Truck Stop Cafe a couple of weeks ago. Asked for 2 Hamburgers. The woman serving went to the freezer and took to patties out and stuck them under her arm. "Why are you doing that?," I asked. "Defrosting them", she said. "Gee, pleased I didn't ask for a hot dog&quo...

sarg · sarg

An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman, gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies, I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it. Intrigu...

george57 · george57

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to get to Heaven from Scotland... (Preview) I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" "NO!" the children answere...	Vic41	4	667	10:35 PM Feb 12, 2014 by 2foot6
	The Hookers Union (Preview) The Hookers Union A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?" "No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't." "Wel...	Hurls	1	877	04:14 PM Feb 12, 2014 by Vic41
	The hardest part of being a guide dog (Preview) The hardest part of being a guide dog!	Hurls	0	628	12:01 PM Feb 12, 2014 by Hurls
	Amish Warmth (Preview) An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blistery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing.' The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.' The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day the daughter was ridin...	Hurls	0	533	11:52 AM Feb 12, 2014 by Hurls
	My New Pet (Preview) A woman went to a pet shop and spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and som...	2foot6	0	621	10:47 AM Feb 12, 2014 by 2foot6
	Ralph & Edna (Preview) Ralph and Edna, madly in love, were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while walking hand in hand past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end, sank to the bottom and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out and save...	Hendo	0	729	10:42 AM Feb 12, 2014 by Hendo
	An Astronauts Worst Nightmare (Preview) Sound On.....click on; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WoM2bHfr48	Vic41	1	1005	08:18 AM Feb 12, 2014 by brian
	Reminds me of the time.... (Preview) An elderly father found a vibrator in his daughters bedroom and asked her about it. She told him that she was 40 years of age, unmarried, hadn't had sex with a man and that she had to have a life! The next evening she came home to find her dad sitting with a whiskey dry in one hand and the vibrator in the other...	rosco532	2	704	10:51 PM Feb 11, 2014 by cobberandco
	Psychiartrist vs Bartender (Preview) Psychiatrist vs. Bartender EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' sai...	Hurls	2	1034	10:48 PM Feb 11, 2014 by cobberandco
	The church dinner (Preview) A group of friends from the Cottonwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Jean to be the hosts, Jean wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But m...	spida	2	824	10:46 PM Feb 11, 2014 by cobberandco
	THE HAIRCUT (Preview) A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades u p from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.Then we'll talk about the car."...	sarg	2	668	10:44 PM Feb 11, 2014 by cobberandco
	Aussie Sensitivity (Preview) Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife. Mongrel says, 'O...	Hurls	1	661	10:42 PM Feb 11, 2014 by cobberandco
	Snow Ploughing In Dublin (Preview) On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow ploughs can get through. "So...	Vic41	0	848	12:59 PM Feb 11, 2014 by Vic41
	Onions and Christmas Trees (Preview) Onions and Christmas Trees A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs. In her 20s, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s, 40s and 50's the...	Gunsondeck	1	630	09:25 PM Feb 10, 2014 by Bryan
	The best Irish joke! (Preview) Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the o...	nomadic1	1	732	09:23 PM Feb 10, 2014 by Bryan
	Who is going to try this first ??? (Preview)	rosco532	2	625	06:56 PM Feb 10, 2014 by Kaid
	Granny's Advice. (Preview) *Yes, our grandmothers still had genuine knowledge of staying naturally healthy!!!* *My granny lectured me about her practical knowledge:* *For better digestion, I drink beer, for loss of appetite I drink white wine, with low blood pressure, red wine, with high blood pressure, cognac and whenever I ha...*	Gunsondeck	0	717	12:02 PM Feb 10, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	Truck Stop Tucker (Preview) Stopped at a Truck Stop Cafe a couple of weeks ago. Asked for 2 Hamburgers. The woman serving went to the freezer and took to patties out and stuck them under her arm. "Why are you doing that?," I asked. "Defrosting them", she said. "Gee, pleased I didn't ask for a hot dog&quo...	Bunkerbob	1	716	11:05 PM Feb 9, 2014 by Vic41
	BEST AUSSIE PICK-UP LINE EVER: (Preview) An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman, gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies, I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it. Intrigu...	sarg	2	998	07:29 PM Feb 9, 2014 by brian
	Miley Cyrus..... (Preview)	george57	2	676	11:21 AM Feb 9, 2014 by dazren
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